Ep.18/ Misconceptions About Twins with Gavin & Gemma
Ep.18/ Misconceptions About Twins with Gavin & Gemma
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Note: This transcription has been created with a help of an AI thus errors and mistranscriptions may be present.
[00:00:00] Tonya Mollineau: Hello? Maternal Health 911?
[00:00:03] Dr. Jill Baker: What's your emergency?
[00:00:14] Dr. Jill Baker: Hi, I'm Dr. Joe Baker. I'm a wife, a mother, a community health scholar, an executive director, and a fertility coach. More than 12 years ago, I was on my own infertility journey. Since then I've made it my personal mission to help anyone who is on their own journey. to become a parent as well as shed light on infertility and maternal health experiences of BIPOC women and couples.
[00:00:42] Dr. Jill Baker: Now, let's begin this week's episode of Maternal Health 9 1 1.
[00:00:54] Dr. Jill Baker: Greetings, Maternal Health 9 1 1 listeners. This is your host, Dr. Jill Baker. Today, I have Miss Tanya Molyneux. She is a New York based single mother, filmmaker, and director. Who writes and produce a lot of her own content. Her work showcases layered black female characters while shedding light on social issues as they relate to the human experience.
[00:01:23] Dr. Jill Baker: Her short film, too much love is being used in partnership with AIDS healthcare foundation as a PSA about HIV. Another short film, Travia was named to honor Trayvon Martin and has been called. A visceral response to police brutality. Malinal's upcoming projects include a docu series about suicide within the black community.
[00:01:50] Dr. Jill Baker: Another very important topic. It's called Tainted. And it's a short film about mothers battling depression and a dramedy feature film about surviving divorce called Getting Help. She is the founder of Mom Film Fest, a 501c3 nonprofit organization that serves as a career development and advocacy resource for moms working in the film and television with initiatives that create returnships for moms, reentering the workforce, supportive child care solutions, And an annual film festival, Mom Film Fest, which works to amplify the visibility of content made by moms in order to create job opportunities that will get hashtag moms back on set.
[00:02:40] Dr. Jill Baker: Malino also started the Moms Network for New York women in film and television. Where she is an active member, and she is also a member of the Black TV and Film Collective and Women of Color Filmmakers. So without further ado, give your flowers and your attention to Tanya Molyneux. Hey, sister.
[00:03:07] Tonya Mollineau: Hello.
[00:03:08] Tonya Mollineau: Thank you for having me, Dr.
[00:03:09] Dr. Jill Baker: Jill. I am so happy to be with you today. Same. I was trying to think of, how do we how do we find each other? On Instagram? Instagram, that's right,
[00:03:23] Tonya Mollineau: that's right. I saw the work that you were doing and I reached out and hoped that you would reach back and you did and I'm so thankful we have.
[00:03:31] Tonya Mollineau: And I was like, Oh my God. I was
[00:03:33] Dr. Jill Baker: like, who is this sending me a message on Instagram? And then I looked you up. I was like, Oh my gosh she reached out to me. Little old me. No, I really did think that and feel that. Oh, you're so
[00:03:49] Tonya Mollineau: sweet. Yes. And I same, I was like, look at all the amazing things that she's up to and she's doing.
[00:03:55] Tonya Mollineau: I want to be a part of that and connect in. Support each other however we can. So thank you so much for having me. So I
[00:04:02] Dr. Jill Baker: wanted to start our conversation with what do you think is one of the hardest parts about first being a mother and then followed by what's one of the hardest parts about being a black mother specifically?
[00:04:22] Dr. Jill Baker: Oy,
[00:04:23] Tonya Mollineau: Okay. So I'm a single mother. I think that in of itself is. comes with its own set of challenges. Having to constantly have the ball in my court and there's nobody to throw it to who can catch it. That's very challenging. And then I think being a black mother with everything that's going on in society and in the world and the way that we are mistreated especially in this country, that I think every time my child leaves the house.
[00:04:57] Tonya Mollineau: I have a special layer of anxiety.
[00:05:01] Dr. Jill Baker: Oh,
[00:05:02] Tonya Mollineau: yes. She was walking back from the store with her friends a couple of weeks ago. And she called me and she's, she was laughing and she was like, Oh, we're going to get arrested. The cops are following us. And I was like, what do you mean? What's happening?
[00:05:13] Tonya Mollineau: Why are they following you? She's no mom, it's okay. They were just driving by, but we were like, Oh no, this is going to happen. And I'm like, it's not a joke. Like this is really What is happening there. So it is really difficult being a single mother being a black mother and just the extra that we have to be concerned about and the talks that we have to have with our kids.
[00:05:36] Tonya Mollineau: And when she's with me in the store, I'm like, don't touch anything. I don't need these people thinking you're doing anything or, they will blame you. And that's also generational trauma that we're passing down on our children. But these are from experiences that we've also had. So it's.
[00:05:51] Tonya Mollineau: It's trauma, but it's connected to experience and things that we've been through and that we've seen
[00:05:56] Dr. Jill Baker: right? Absolutely. Absolutely. How, wait, how old is your daughter? She's 13. Oh, gosh. Okay. Yeah. Oh, yes. Because my twins are, they're about to be 12. And as I shared, I have, when a girl and my daughter she's a harder than my son, a lot more challenging.
[00:06:16] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. Just because of the desire for independence early and the maturity, more maturity, but then still remembering that, I'm like, okay, she's
[00:06:30] Tonya Mollineau: still 12, she's
[00:06:31] Dr. Jill Baker: still, and let's treat you like you're 12. And I say to her all the time that I'm like, I don't want you to be so serious because when I was your age, I said, I didn't have to have a choice.
[00:06:47] Dr. Jill Baker: Because of growing up in a family, where my father was a drug addict. And so I, I had to take on this role of being more responsible, being the oldest and taking care of a lot of things and worrying about things that I shouldn't have had to worry about. And then, and as you said, the trauma, trauma and generational trauma and.
[00:07:10] Dr. Jill Baker: Still, 20 years plus of therapy on still working those things out then, but it's, for me it's ensuring that, okay, I don't want my daughter to feel this way that she really doesn't have to feel, but knowing what, what's about to happen, the older that she gets as a young black girl, coming into her womanhood. Yep. Yep. Yep.
[00:07:38] Tonya Mollineau: Yeah, they already think, our kids look older than they are. They are treated differently because of that. And what I find really challenging right now too is the clothing. Everything is a crop top and we battle back and forth about that. Because I'm like, you have time.
[00:07:57] Tonya Mollineau: For that, wear a regular shirt, it can come down to your waist and you'll do just fine. They just want them to grow up so fast and their minds are not ready for that.
[00:08:06] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. Yeah. What or what that brings. Exactly. Exactly. What attention that brings and then what you might have to deal with as a result of that.
[00:08:18] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah, and then the, I think the other things of, I think you and I talked about this as well, with, being a Black mother and then having to juggle your career and juggle being a mother. And knowing that we have to show up in a certain way and we can't drop the ball with maybe how I know for me in being when I was a professor for 10 years, I never dressed down.
[00:08:52] Dr. Jill Baker: I always wore suits or pantsuit or something like to that extent. And I would, have some of my students ask me Dr. Baker, why are you, why don't you wear jeans like everybody else? And I'm like, because I can't. That's
[00:09:08] Tonya Mollineau: hitting that's hitting, I feel that. Right?
[00:09:11] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. Yeah. We
[00:09:13] Tonya Mollineau: are a representative of all of those we hope will come after us.
[00:09:19] Tonya Mollineau: So when we go out and we enter into a space, we have these stereotypes and these prejudices that people already have and they think they know who and how we are. So when we are presenting ourselves, we have to make sure. Everything is presentable. We have everything in order. It's dressed down and we look professional.
[00:09:42] Tonya Mollineau: Even for me when I'm on film sets, I won't wear sweats and come in there looking slumpy. I And you would
[00:09:50] Dr. Jill Baker: think I would be judged differently. Be able to see, wow.
[00:09:54] Tonya Mollineau: You, you can and you should, but I know I will be looked at a different way. Exactly. A woman, I am running a lot of teams that have a lot of men on, so it's like there are all these extra layers of things that are happening and going on and that your brain is processing.
[00:10:15] Tonya Mollineau: And you understand the one day that you might come in there and you have your sweats on is the day that they are really going to try to test you. Yep,
[00:10:23] Dr. Jill Baker: exactly. You're waiting for somebody to call you your wrong name or call or have, they might, in case it was always okay. What student is going to try to go off on me or disrespect me or am I going to have to be called to the Dean's office for something, yes. So it's like you gotta be ready and what you wear and your clothes are your first line of defense for a Black woman. Absolutely. Nope. And that's a load. It is. A load to carry. It really is and I think
[00:10:57] Tonya Mollineau: that's also why when I see other Black women I'm like, you good sis? Because you know there's a lot that we are taking on and internally trying to process and just that weight of the world on our shoulders every day.
[00:11:15] Tonya Mollineau: Walking outside into the world, I live in a neighborhood that's pretty diverse. There are people from so many different backgrounds here and I find myself with my guard up whenever I'm encountering one of my white neighbors and I'm like, who's going to say something offensive? I'm ready.
[00:11:35] Tonya Mollineau: And then a lot of the times I walk past them, they'll say hello, they'll say, and I'm like, wait, You're speaking nicely to me, because within the past few years, like the country has gone crazy and people are coming out of the woodwork just feeling like they can say any old type of thing. And I'm like, Lord, please don't test me.
[00:11:52] Tonya Mollineau: Cause it, it won't be good. It's not going to be good, then I'll unleash. All of this stress and the pressure that we're feeling. So yeah that's my,
[00:12:04] Dr. Jill Baker: my side of the story. Glad you brought that up because our interactions in the world that, We are at constant, the mercy of dealing with daily macro, macroaggressions and microaggressions.
[00:12:26] Dr. Jill Baker: Then that, that stress taking a toll because it does take a toll somewhere. And for, for black women who are pregnant, that can take a toll on you and then take a toll on the baby. And once you have your baby, that stress is still there, it still goes somewhere, it still affects us. And so I love, the, you saying and feeling that I think Black women, we need to talk to each other more.
[00:12:59] Dr. Jill Baker: Just ask, like you said, are you okay? Are you alright today? Yes. Anything I can do for you?
[00:13:07] Tonya Mollineau: Yes. I've been having conversations with more of my friends, more of my colleagues. And one of them the other day was going through it was something happening with work. And I was like, listen, you are valued. You are appreciated.
[00:13:21] Tonya Mollineau: Do not let those people come in and tell you anything differently. And later she admitted, she said, nobody's ever told me that I'm valued. And I was like, what is going on? What are we, they will have us feeling like we need to. Be pitted against each other. That's not the case. Like I want you to do well, we gonna do well and work together and uplift each other as much as we can.
[00:13:44] Tonya Mollineau: Like we are all we got, so we have
[00:13:46] Dr. Jill Baker: to and that we're not crabs in a barrel trying to pull each other down, make it to the top. Exactly. But that, but you're right in the main, in the mainstream society, that is what is. That is what it's all about. Black women a lot. That's what we do to each other.
[00:14:09] Tonya Mollineau: Something else I wanted to speak to too on that pressure of when you were talking about dressing for work and looking professional, whatever that idea is for whoever, whatever industry we're in. Whether you're a mother working in academia or your mother working in film or music or.
[00:14:27] Tonya Mollineau: None of us are valued. That's actually what it's about. And it was interesting because for mom film fest we're doing a campaign called leave no mom behind. And one of the women in the community reached out and she said, is this just for people, like moms working in the film industry?
[00:14:48] Tonya Mollineau: And I was like, no, this is about motherhood and unifying us on that front, because that is where we. All need and deserve respect and support and none of us are getting it,
[00:15:01] Dr. Jill Baker: right? So that
[00:15:02] Tonya Mollineau: is where we need to come together and the power of unifying that's going to be something once that shift in the moms connecting comes together.
[00:15:13] Tonya Mollineau: That's really gonna it's gonna be so powerful. So I'm excited to see and to be in your presence right now, I think is. This is actually showing how this is going to happen.
[00:15:26] Dr. Jill Baker: I do think that mother motherhood is a place where can unite because there are some experiences that we have in common.
[00:15:38] Dr. Jill Baker: Just the navigating a job in your family, balancing the family and work, which sometimes I'm like, what does that mean? What does balancing your family and work Is that a real goal? I constantly ask myself that, that question because I think it changes every day.
[00:16:03] Tonya Mollineau: It does. And I will say,
[00:16:06] Dr. Jill Baker: I've heard
[00:16:07] Tonya Mollineau: that there is no such thing as balance.
[00:16:10] Tonya Mollineau: There should be harmony and flow. And I have to say that I agree with that because if we're chasing this balance, things are, sometimes the family life is fantastic. Sometimes the work life is fantastic. They. They shift in their levels of
[00:16:24] Dr. Jill Baker: greatness. They constantly
[00:16:24] Tonya Mollineau: shift.
[00:16:25] Tonya Mollineau: So I, I just want to be in a space where I can function. And have some peace, which can be really difficult. That's what I'm searching for is
[00:16:35] Dr. Jill Baker: peace. And so I'll ask you this question. A question that a lot of people have asked me more so with being a mom of twins. Is do things get easier as a parent when your child gets older?
[00:16:56] Dr. Jill Baker: See, we're both laughing.
[00:17:00] Dr. Jill Baker: Woo! God bless those people. Yeah, see, we're both laughing.
[00:17:04] Tonya Mollineau: A few years ago, I had this same question for a woman within the NYWF community who came to one of our... Mom's network meetings. And she had a son, I think, who was in his thirties at the time. And I said, please tell me it gets easier as they get older.
[00:17:22] Tonya Mollineau: And she said, you know what? It doesn't get easier. The challenges just change. And that's, there was a light bulb that went off for me at that moment, and I was like, huh, makes so much sense because I feel like everybody wants us to think, oh, the kids turn 18, and then you send them off and they're out of your hair and what world does that happen in?
[00:17:45] Tonya Mollineau: Because I've not happening.
[00:17:49] Dr. Jill Baker: Now, that's not a reality. No,
[00:17:52] Tonya Mollineau: but at 18, now they're adults. They can get into,
[00:17:54] Dr. Jill Baker: Real problems. Maybe in our generation, maybe for us, maybe, that was more of a reality. Yeah, because when I left for college, I didn't move back. I said, I'm not moving back home, and I didn't. But but I don't, yeah, a lot of kids now move back home after college.
[00:18:14] Dr. Jill Baker: Are there for a longer, trying to get themselves established. So I don't, yeah, I don't, I think that would be a great goal. And that would be, but I don't think that's a more, I don't think that's a reality. It's not a
[00:18:30] Tonya Mollineau: reality. I say I want to turn this button off this motherhood button off some days, but it's not something that, you can't do that.
[00:18:39] Tonya Mollineau: It's just. Once you're their mother, you're always their mother. And I think that's part of the challenge. It's you're never off duty. It's 24
[00:18:47] Dr. Jill Baker: 7. I'm very lucky to have, I, my husband and I have been very lucky to have amazing neighbors. So we just moved from outside of Philly. And we have, we're very close with friends, a family there, and now here we're close with some of our neighbors.
[00:19:05] Dr. Jill Baker: One of our neighbors, her name is Miss Lisa, she's Jewish, and her kids are 30. But I think they're both in their thirties and we actually went to a birth equity maternal health conference at Stockton together. She would, she invited me to, cause that is like one of her areas of interest and passion.
[00:19:27] Dr. Jill Baker: And she has her masters in social work. But we were talking about parenting and she just said to me, she was like, it does Turn off. Does not stop. She was like, it's just different. Just like you said, Tanya. She said, it's just different things, different issues, different experiences. She was like, now my kid, she was like, my youngest is moving away and start, starting her life with his partner.
[00:19:56] Dr. Jill Baker: And she was like, but he's my best friend. She was like, now I'm heartbroken. I was like, oh yeah. So she, I know. Yeah. Yeah. So she was like, but it doesn't, she was like, Jill, it just doesn't turn off. It doesn't. That's motherhood. That's motherhood as your children get older. That makes absolute
[00:20:17] Tonya Mollineau: sense to me.
[00:20:17] Tonya Mollineau: I get
[00:20:18] Dr. Jill Baker: it. So I just say that certain things get easier. Like they can bathe themselves and things like Definitely. No longer have to break your back and bend over for a tub. And I've taught my twins how to cook. And so they've been cooking since they were eight. More so for me to give me a break and now everybody is helping to cook.
[00:20:42] Dr. Jill Baker: So that helps my sanity and my balance. But other than that, no. So now it's just, it's different things. I share, I think I shared with you, my son, Gavin has ADHD. So that's, a challenge and then how Gemma, my daughter feels about it. And. Yeah. So now it's just those more complex issues.
[00:21:06] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. Yeah. But they can do every, a lot of other things, but. I love
[00:21:10] Tonya Mollineau: that. My kid can do some basics, but we gotta up the cooking measures there.
[00:21:17] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. I just say whatever. I just try to, I, I try to think of it in a way of, I just want to ensure that they are able to, Take care of them self, just basic things.
[00:21:31] Dr. Jill Baker: So they started, doing laundry early. So they do their own laundry. And so they're, and I, yeah. And the cooking thing was important to me. So I'm like, at least you can cook for yourself wherever you end up. And cook for your friends and whoever, if you are with somebody one day. Yeah. Yeah. Aw. I just think about you.
[00:21:54] Dr. Jill Baker: What do you want your children to bring to the table for themselves, as they get older. Yeah. That's actually a
[00:22:04] Tonya Mollineau: really great way of framing. Yeah. I
[00:22:07] Dr. Jill Baker: love that. Yeah. So what do you think are some of the biggest myths about motherhood? In American society some of the biggest myths,
[00:22:23] Tonya Mollineau: I think that we can have it all.
[00:22:28] Tonya Mollineau: Oh, that is
[00:22:30] Dr. Jill Baker: a, that's a constant. Yeah. And what does that mean to the, the having it all? Yeah. What does that even, mean?
[00:22:42] Tonya Mollineau: Isn't that the question, though? Because I would imagine having it all means different things to different people, but this is what they think. But you
[00:22:50] Dr. Jill Baker: can have a family, you can support yourself financially.
[00:22:54] Tonya Mollineau: Yes. I think the biggest myth, though, is that moms... Wouldn't make good managers. The fact that, you don't have a lot of women in the C suite and leadership positions, which is weird to me because the amount of schedules that need to be managed, what, it's yourself. If you have a partner, if you have kid one, two, three you're managing all of their schedules.
[00:23:23] Tonya Mollineau: You're managing doctor's appointments. You're managing extracurriculars and activities. You're also managing for yourself. If you're working, all these things that we need to do. And then you have stay at home moms who are also working but just not valued and are made to feel like because you are not necessarily contributing monetarily.
[00:23:46] Tonya Mollineau: then you don't have a voice and you don't matter it's
[00:23:49] Dr. Jill Baker: just and I don't believe in that at all not at all don't believe in that
[00:23:53] Tonya Mollineau: but again this is the way pitting us against each
[00:23:56] Dr. Jill Baker: other right is or that you've been out of the workforce for a long time because you chose to stay home to take care of your child then you can't Difficult to come back, get a job, get paid, which should get paid.
[00:24:12] Dr. Jill Baker: And so that alone made me, maybe think to myself and say I can't it would not be good if I stayed out of work, although I want it to, I want, especially with a mark, my youngest because I did have postpartum depression, which I still. Deal with, which I still have not deal with or still have depression.
[00:24:35] Dr. Jill Baker: But I said, if another thing, we said, we both have, right. But I said, if I leave for too long, it's going to be hard for me to get another job.
[00:24:48] Tonya Mollineau: Yes. And what happens to so for mom film fest, we have, as you mentioned, the back to work initiative for these return ships for moms, because What'll happen is you have a mother who is a cinematographer and took the time to raise the child, took X amount of years that she needed to.
[00:25:11] Tonya Mollineau: And then when she's ready to come back into the industry is yeah, no, you're going to have to start at the beginning, which is insane because she doesn't forget how to use cameras. She might need a refresher course on, the most updated technology, but so now they're discouraged from getting back into the workforce, that skillset.
[00:25:32] Tonya Mollineau: Will not be used whatsoever. And they feel like, okay I can't come back into the workforce. I'm not wanted. And that's really unfortunately where we're at. So we're trying to combat that and. Say, Hey, wake up, women in their fifties who have raised their children and they're now like, it's my time.
[00:25:50] Tonya Mollineau: I want to pursue my dreams and my goals. And I've always wanted to write and I've always wanted to make films. And this is any industry and career actually, but they're like,
[00:25:59] Dr. Jill Baker: it applies. Yeah. It's the same thing with academia.
[00:26:01] Tonya Mollineau: Yes. They're like, no, thank you. We don't want to hear from someone who has all these life experiences we would rather hear from.
[00:26:08] Tonya Mollineau: The 20 year old because it's quick and it's fast and I can't keep up with that stuff, but
[00:26:12] Dr. Jill Baker: No, it doesn't make sense. You know how much life experience. Okay. And how often times you become more. I'm not the most creative person, just in terms of art and I would say cooking is probably my most kind of creative outlet in that way.
[00:26:30] Dr. Jill Baker: That's an art. Yeah, but some women have become so much more creative as they have had
[00:26:40] Tonya Mollineau: children. Yes. Having your
[00:26:41] Dr. Jill Baker: child activates this creativity.
[00:26:45] Tonya Mollineau: Thank you. Absolutely. But the problem is, what? We need more mothers, leading everything and everywhere. But I think film is so powerful and impactful and that's why Mom Film Fest exists.
[00:27:02] Tonya Mollineau: We also have a lot of films from filmmakers who share authentic stories about motherhood and you can always tell when there's a team of moms behind a project because of the way that they. nurture the film and the people working on it. And it's just really beautiful to see, but we need more of that, and that's why I'm working on this documentary.
[00:27:24] Tonya Mollineau: I think we were talking about too, some of the challenges that I went through. I had pregnancy complications. I had post birth complications. My C section infection got infected. I had to, my C section incision got infected and I had to wear a wound back for six weeks. Like I had gone to war, which really after you give birth, it can definitely feel that way, but then I had issues breastfeeding, like all these things that were happening.
[00:27:52] Tonya Mollineau: And I had nowhere to see that representation anywhere. When we're looking at films and we're looking at television, there are these very two dimensional flat. characters that we're seeing. And, it got me to thinking like, where did my thoughts on motherhood come from as far as the mother I thought I was supposed to have and the mother that I am supposed to be?
[00:28:15] Tonya Mollineau: So the documentary is going to explore a lot of that and it's going to follow the challenges that I've gone through postpartum depression everything and just seeing. Have we seen these things? Was it authentically portrayed or was it just, Oh, she just had a baby and now she's acting crazy and she's disheveled in a robe and she hasn't brushed her teeth or showered in three days.
[00:28:39] Dr. Jill Baker: I think we were talking about this. I think the most accurate portrayal on TV of that and I was In blackish or for rainbow when she had the last baby which made sense because she was Older. Yeah. . . And she was still going to work on the outside. She looked fine.
[00:29:02] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. But she knew, she kept saying Something is off. Something is off. And my experience was exactly the same. I was still showing up going to work, but I was like, I'm not right. Something I don't feel right. Yep. And I know what that means. Yes. And it just wasn't every day I woke up, am I going to feel like me today?
[00:29:25] Dr. Jill Baker: Nope. For, yeah, for six months. For six months.
[00:29:33] Dr. Jill Baker: Hello, Maternal Health 911 listeners. If you are enjoying this episode, and if you happen to be going through infertility or you know someone who might be and who needs. I want to announce to all of you that I am offering fertility and infertility coaching services and I have a very limited amount of spots.
[00:30:02] Dr. Jill Baker: But for those of you who are interested, please visit my website. Site www. drjoebaker. com or you can email me at drjoebaker at gmail. com about your interest and we can figure out a time to book a consult call. Would love to hear and help in any way that I can.
[00:30:31] Tonya Mollineau: And see, and we're already dealing with that loss of identity when you become a mother as you were just saying, am I gonna feel like me? It relates to so many different levels, but it's just interesting because once you have a kid, my, I was giving my daughter's friend a ride
[00:30:49] Dr. Jill Baker: home the other day and she said, bye Fiona's
[00:30:51] Tonya Mollineau: mom.
[00:30:52] Tonya Mollineau: And I was like, This is who I am. Okay. It's like when you have the baby and you go to visit, the family or the friend and you're walking in and they just go to the baby. Nobody there's no interest in you anymore. It's you had this kid. You've done the amazing thing in the world that you were supposed to do, right?
[00:31:15] Tonya Mollineau: Because that's what moms are supposed to have the kids raise, the kids take care of them. And we are done with you now. And that's really what it feels like sometimes. It's,
[00:31:25] Dr. Jill Baker: it's really sad. And it's actually dangerous. Oh yeah. Because what's happening is that more women of color and Black women are dying post birth.
[00:31:37] Dr. Jill Baker: Up to 24 weeks post birth because we it's going back into that regular mode. Okay, the baby's out and you're good. But most of the time, no, we're not good. We're not. And we have to be okay with saying we're not good. Yeah. But, and someone has to be able to listen to that and say, okay, what can I do for you?
[00:32:03] Dr. Jill Baker: What do you mean? What does that mean? Yeah. I don't
[00:32:06] Tonya Mollineau: know that we are. Coming up culturally as black mothers. I don't know that's something instilled within us. I
[00:32:15] Dr. Jill Baker: know I, Oh, no, that's not instilled at all. I suffered. Cause we're supposed to be the super, of course. Yeah. The thick skin and.
[00:32:23] Dr. Jill Baker: Nothing bothers us. And we're And we can take it all. Yeah.
[00:32:27] Tonya Mollineau: Aggressive. And all
[00:32:29] Dr. Jill Baker: of these, Aggressive, assertive. Yeah. Physically strong.
[00:32:32] Tonya Mollineau: Mentally strong. Yes. Physically strong. Definitely. When I was pregnant the doctor was just very nonchalant. I had complications, as I said in the beginning.
[00:32:40] Tonya Mollineau: And she was like
[00:32:42] Dr. Jill Baker: you
[00:32:42] Tonya Mollineau: can bring the baby to term or, you might lose it. It was no big thing to her whether or not I had this child. And I was like, wow, this is a. I don't think this is the feeling I'm supposed to have when I'm speaking to a medical professional. But that, yeah, that was pretty eye opening and heartbreaking at the same time.
[00:33:02] Tonya Mollineau: And I'm just trying to make sure I can carry this child and she could not care less. It was, yeah. So another thing that we deal with especially the Black moms, as you were just saying with the dangers and the rate that we're dying at. That's, yeah. Changes need to happen. How do we change this?
[00:33:21] Tonya Mollineau: What is the right, okay. So you know what I want to talk to you about really quickly with the Rihanna and
[00:33:27] Dr. Jill Baker: the Superbowl. Oh, yes. So I, okay.
[00:33:33] Tonya Mollineau: So I'm texting one of my team members, Olivia Camacho, shout out OC. And because I was like, can you tell me when the performance starts and whatever? And she's texting me and I'm like, I'm already watching, like I'm there.
[00:33:43] Tonya Mollineau: And then we're like, wait, okay. Is she pregnant? Is she pregnant? Is she pregnant? So now everybody's googling and we're trying to figure it out and then we're like, oh my gosh. She totally is. And she said this was her special guest and whatever else. So I'm seeing this now. I
[00:33:55] Dr. Jill Baker: did the same thing.
[00:33:57] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes. Yes. I wasn't sure. Yeah. And then I was like I
[00:34:04] Tonya Mollineau: don't want to assume because now you're feeling like your body shaming and you're like there's a little something. There's something there. So I'm seeing this now pregnant woman floating through the air. And my head is okay, so there can never be another film company that comes to us and says they will not insure X, Y, or Z because of...
[00:34:25] Tonya Mollineau: This, and that other thing, right? Cause she is floating through, Yes, she was. Floating through the sky, okay? Kudos to her. Then I just had this moment of, I was seeing everybody celebrating it, and I was like, yes, this is fantastic, but, is this gonna be the thing that changes the way moms are treated in America?
[00:34:43] Tonya Mollineau: I'm waiting for the thing, what is going to happen that is going to cause this, and I live in New York, like there are certain
[00:34:51] Dr. Jill Baker: things that they're, that's my hometown,
[00:34:54] Tonya Mollineau: they're dangling and they're saying that they're doing and yeah, but
[00:34:58] Dr. Jill Baker: there needs to be a lot more. I love Rihanna.
[00:35:00] Dr. Jill Baker: Personally. I,
[00:35:03] Dr. Jill Baker: I love what she has done while she's been pregnant. Just being unabashedly, I'm going to change. I'm going to change everything that every, everyone else has been doing and what everyone's been saying you're supposed to do while you're pregnant. I'm going to do the complete opposite over here. The belly is out, the belly is out, her fashion her maternity fashion the clothing, her clothes.
[00:35:35] Dr. Jill Baker: I love it. We need more of it. Her performance, but there was, she still got a lot of feedback up because it was still apparently very sexual.
[00:35:46] Tonya Mollineau: But I was like, she was
[00:35:49] Dr. Jill Baker: complete for her, completely covered for Rihanna. Wait.
[00:35:54] Tonya Mollineau: So can we dive into this a little bit further?
[00:35:57] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes, of course. Back
[00:35:59] Tonya Mollineau: to the identity thing, loss of identity for mothers you're no longer allowed to be sexy or sexual for some reason. I'm like how did many of us have these children in the first place? I don't. Exactly. That's just supposed to turn off or go
[00:36:13] Dr. Jill Baker: away? That's supposed to stop, when you're pregnant.
[00:36:16] Dr. Jill Baker: No. Yeah, no. Yeah, but that's what we're dealing with. You're the virgin or the whore.
[00:36:21] Tonya Mollineau: And then when you have a child, now you're a boar. It's very
[00:36:25] Dr. Jill Baker: bizarre. But then I said, I said, and I think I talked to the twins about this. I said, only because she's a black woman. Of course. That they're saying.
[00:36:35] Dr. Jill Baker: She was being sexual. It's okay, this is not like she was fully clothed. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? And I said, this is not the first time she's performed on this show and Secondly, you've had other women on here showing less
[00:36:56] Tonya Mollineau: Who, who were the year before? Was it Shakira and JLo?
[00:36:59] Dr. Jill Baker: I was personally thinking about their, they were a few years ago, but theirs was very risque. Jennifer Lopez, you could see her butt, both of them, I think. And I was just like, did they get all this sexual feedback after? I don't think so. Yeah. But Rihanna, Janet, again because she's a black woman.
[00:37:22] Dr. Jill Baker: Also, what's of it? She was on, I don't know if you know this, she was on the, oh gosh, she was on the cover of something recently. Gosh, it might've been Elle, I don't know, but I was reading this yesterday and she's in it on the cover. Her son is in it. So we don't know what their son's name is, but beautiful boy.
[00:37:44] Dr. Jill Baker: And ASAP Rocky. So the picture, Rihanna is in the front, and A$ AP is in the back with their son, but she's, in the lead, she takes up most of the photo. So on Twitter, there have been feedback, there's been comments about, how could he just... Be okay with letting her be in the front and why, and someone else said, why couldn't it just have been a family picture with them all just sitting together or taking up the same amount of space on the photo?
[00:38:26] Dr. Jill Baker: And I'm
[00:38:26] Tonya Mollineau: like, Oh, really?
[00:38:32] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. So again, black woman. In the front and the
[00:38:38] Tonya Mollineau: nerve of her is
[00:38:39] Dr. Jill Baker: The nerve of her and the nerve of him to be okay with being in the back. I can't. You
[00:38:51] Tonya Mollineau: see the silliness that we have to deal with? And then we have to go now and argue this down because What do you say here?
[00:39:00] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah, so this is, yeah, so this picture because I haven't, this has been on Twitter this week and it's just black women are, we are leaders, we are we are successful and we've worked hard.
[00:39:20] Dr. Jill Baker: She deserves to be in the front and if she, and have, and be a mother. And be pregnant again. Yes. Yes. All that she desires, she deserves. And if she happens to be with someone who is okay with that and he seems very okay and happy with it. To say, how dare she allow this? Or what's wrong with him? What?
[00:39:47] Dr. Jill Baker: That's pretty funny. Wow. So this shows you, we have a lot to change. We still have a lot to work on. Absolutely.
[00:40:03] Dr. Jill Baker: A lot. A lot. But Rihanna, she's gonna keep, doing, put in, she, I just love it. She's gonna make people have to have conversations about what they think being a mother means, what does it mean to be a Black mother. Yeah.
[00:40:21] Tonya Mollineau: Definitely disrupting the status quo and the stereotypes.
[00:40:26] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes. And making us feel seen. Feel seen. Yes. Love her. That's why I love her. So I love her so much. So I want her to keep doing whatever she's doing and thriving. Yes. So you and I were supposed to talk a little bit about, so the other thing that the two of us have in common is that we're also the caretakers of our mothers.
[00:40:55] Dr. Jill Baker: And I don't know how we found it, but we started talking about it.
[00:41:01] Dr. Jill Baker: And I think, yeah, we did. And I think this is something that I think a lot of people experience and go through and it may need, support and awareness. But for you, how did you end up being your mother's caretaker? Yeah
[00:41:24] Tonya Mollineau: it's crazy. I don't know how I ended up in a space of mothering my mother and mothering my child.
[00:41:31] Tonya Mollineau: Being in that
[00:41:31] Dr. Jill Baker: sandwich generation. Which is... That's right. We are officially in the sandwich generation. Yes.
[00:41:39] Tonya Mollineau: After my father passed away, like I was living all over the place and I always ended up back in New York. And then my father had gotten really ill. He had cancer and that last year was just really tough.
[00:41:53] Tonya Mollineau: My marriage was ending. I came back home.
[00:41:55] Dr. Jill Baker: And then that's a lot sister. Oh,
[00:41:58] Tonya Mollineau: I, I know we have to write about it. There's things, these are films and scripts and things that I write about and
[00:42:04] Tonya Mollineau: It's quite fascinating actually. But after he passed, I was like I can't leave my mother and I told him I would make sure she was good.
[00:42:14] Tonya Mollineau: So I ended up being here and I also. I had my kid, I'm doing air quotes later in life whereas my sisters were teen moms. So my oldest nephew is more like a little brother cause he's only 10 years younger than me. And they had my nieces and nephews have a great relationship with both parents at that point.
[00:42:34] Tonya Mollineau: And, it's pretty good with my mom, but I wanted my daughter to have a relationship with
[00:42:40] Dr. Jill Baker: her grandmother and, yes, of course.
[00:42:42] Tonya Mollineau: That's how I ended up saying, and then through the years, as things progressed, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and It's just, I find myself confused as to how I ended up in this position and why it's me.
[00:43:00] Tonya Mollineau: Cause she has other children, but I don't know. I think it's, I have that, I don't want to say that it's guilt, but I think that it's guilt. No,
[00:43:10] Dr. Jill Baker: it does. It does feel that way.
[00:43:11] Tonya Mollineau: Of telling my dad like, Oh, I would make sure that. She's okay. And then, you
[00:43:15] Dr. Jill Baker: know our stories are so similar. It's crazy. I knew they were similar, but it's crazy.
[00:43:21] Dr. Jill Baker: It's crazy because my dad had cancer too. So that's how my father died. Maybe it'll be four years ago this year, but he had lung cancer. And his last year, he had to be on oxygen the whole, yeah, the whole, that's how bad it got for him. But even prior to that, I was still my mother's caretaker.
[00:43:46] Dr. Jill Baker: When did I start though? Maybe for me, how did that happen for you in my late twenties? Oh, okay. Okay. Because my mom was, Depressed at our depression. And she was, she had a suicide attempt. She was in New York at the time and I was in Philly. So I had her move in with me and my husband and we had just, I think we were only married for a year.
[00:44:12] Dr. Jill Baker: But I knew that if I didn't move her, that she probably would die. I was pretty certain of that. So I said, let me just move her out, take her out of New York, move her in with us and just try to support her and make sure she went to therapy and found things to do. And then she got a little better. But then when I got pregnant with the twin, she ended up living with my brothers and the Poconos and then she wasn't doing well.
[00:44:43] Dr. Jill Baker: Wasn't taking her medication and then fast forward ended up moving her back out to closer to me and my husband he had a psychiatric hospitalization. That wasn't the first one, but a nurse there said to me, I think your mother has Huntington's. And I was like, what is that? And she said, it looks like it acts, it's similar to Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.
[00:45:14] Dr. Jill Baker: But it's not the same. So she said, I think you should just get her tested for it. And I said, okay, but I didn't do anything about it. Maybe until a year later when I was pregnant with my son, pregnant with Amari and Penn university, Pennsylvania has a Huntington center. So I went, took her there. She got a test, blood tests, and then we found out she has it.
[00:45:38] Dr. Jill Baker: So it's actually genetic. Which means I could have it, my brothers can have it but none of us have gotten tested for it yet because there's no cure or anything for it, but it affects her mood. So that is the reason for her depression that she's had since she was in her thirties. She's had a history of suicide attempts, which is another.
[00:46:05] Dr. Jill Baker: That happens with people with Huntington's and she can't create new, she can't retain new memories, but she has her long, she has her longterm. Wow. And then it also affects her mobility. So right now for the past 10 years or so, she's, no she's had a Walker. Okay. So I, and I have brother, but I'm the oldest.
[00:46:36] Dr. Jill Baker: And so somehow it's always me. So I have
[00:46:39] Tonya Mollineau: quite a few Yeah.
[00:46:41] Dr. Jill Baker: friends
[00:46:41] Tonya Mollineau: in your situation where they are the only daughter and they are the ones who are providing the care for their mother in particular. I have two older sisters. I am the baby and I think my family always felt like because I was the one that connected my parents, I was the Not the golden child, but there was definitely some sort of feeling of Oh she gets to have both of them.
[00:47:11] Tonya Mollineau: And, Let it be for you to do. I don't really know. I'll have to have a conversation with my sisters and see what it is But I and that
[00:47:19] Dr. Jill Baker: itself is so it's it is To have these conversations My sisters are
[00:47:26] Tonya Mollineau: so I'm more matter of fact and this is what's going on. This is what's happening doing the research Realizing why the moods what you know The memory loss and we went to the grocery earlier today and I now have her make a list and then everything will be in the cart, but she's still going through the list and we need this and I'm like, no, we have it.
[00:47:48] Tonya Mollineau: It's here. But my sisters are very, they get so emotional and uncomfortable about it. And I'm like, this is what we're dealing with. This is where it is. And so I think that has a lot to do with it too, because I've definitely had conversations with them where I'm like, listen, when are y'all going to have to do the power of attorney?
[00:48:06] Tonya Mollineau: I'm here doing the day to day, like somebody else is going to have to take this responsibility on and they're getting better. Thank God. I feel we've had these conversations and I'm trying to, during our sister lunch chats the last time we met, I said, listen this is What's happening with mom, I don't know, she could go first, we could go first, like whatever it is that can happen, but we need to have these conversations now because God forbid she does pass.
[00:48:33] Tonya Mollineau: I don't want it to tear us apart because it can either distance us from each other or it can bring us closer. But if we're not talking about it, then. It's not helping anyone. So thankfully I've been able to have more of those conversations with them. And sometimes, in our text chain, I'm like, this is ridiculous.
[00:48:50] Tonya Mollineau: Something has to happen. And,
[00:48:53] Dr. Jill Baker: and you want to get a lot, you want to
[00:48:55] Tonya Mollineau: scream at somebody, one of them gets very defensive. And then she explains later, she's I'm not intentionally trying to sound this way towards you. I know this is our mother. And I know it's. It's her frustration, sometimes I lash out as well, so it all balances out.
[00:49:11] Tonya Mollineau: That's where I will say there's balance. It's
[00:49:13] Dr. Jill Baker: because it's just a lot and it's a lot to hold and it's a huge weight. It is
[00:49:20] Tonya Mollineau: a lot. And I like deep down, what I've realized is I don't want to turn into her. I don't want to put that on my child. And I feel like. Within our community, we are not taught to set things up to know that we may need to be in this position for our parents, right?
[00:49:45] Tonya Mollineau: So that's a very hard space to be in and something that I don't have. I've never seen this happen.
[00:49:52] Tonya Mollineau: And it's hard, like more conversations that we need to have and so that you're not in the thick of it and now trying to figure things out.
[00:50:01] Dr. Jill Baker: Because when you have to do it. And you haven't had this time to prep or think about it.
[00:50:07] Dr. Jill Baker: Process of what is this really going to mean for me? Yes. What is this going to mean to my family? How is this going to change my everyday life? So many things. So many moving deci, moving decisions. Absolutely. I had a travel decisions .
[00:50:29] Tonya Mollineau: I, I did travel for the first time and I don't know how many years a couple of months ago.
[00:50:34] Tonya Mollineau: And at first I was like, oh my goodness, what's going to happen and how are the two of them going to get along, my mother and my daughter. And they were fine. It worked out fine. My neighbor downstairs helped take the kid to and from school. Aww. They got along. Everything worked well, we will definitely build it up and make it seem like, but I can't do this because...
[00:50:57] Tonya Mollineau: They need right. And it's no they will manage and they will be just fine. Thank God. And they were, but yeah, it's
[00:51:02] Dr. Jill Baker: I definitely need that vacation. Yeah. Yeah. You needed that vacation. It was work, but getting away. It definitely felt
[00:51:12] Tonya Mollineau: I know I needed that. And so I've decided I think I'm going to do that more, even if I'm doing like a staycation in a hotel somewhere and just
[00:51:20] Dr. Jill Baker: away.
[00:51:20] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes, because I was going to ask you about, self care for, the caretaker. What are some ways.
[00:51:30] Dr. Jill Baker: Of self because self-care is critical. It is critical. It
[00:51:35] Tonya Mollineau: really is. I am still learning. I try to meditate. It doesn't always stick. Yes. But I took a compassion cultivation training
[00:51:45] Dr. Jill Baker: and it
[00:51:46] Tonya Mollineau: was, yeah. They help you meditate and look at the world differently and have compassion and figure out, other people have other things going on as well, which is stuff that we all know.
[00:51:59] Tonya Mollineau: But I think just hearing it in that structured sort of way, that's really helped and it helps with your breathing. So when I, have my moment of a mother has a tantrum is what I call them. I'm sure there's a technical term for it. I try to breathe now and take a moment before I react because.
[00:52:17] Tonya Mollineau: My reactions are usually hot headed. So I try to come
[00:52:21] Dr. Jill Baker: more from a calm.
[00:52:22] Tonya Mollineau: Yeah, that was something that I did that I'm very proud of But I need to get better with my meditating and making sure I make the time for it because I'm very good at being like Oh, I should meditate for 10 minutes, right?
[00:52:38] Tonya Mollineau: I'm like, but that's 10 minutes I don't have but then I'm on emails for an hour. It's
[00:52:42] Dr. Jill Baker: Balance. Balance. Something's got to give. Something has got to give. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I, me personally, I've been trying to do yoga more again and go to an actual yoga class and it has been so inspirational and I really feel like I'm taking care of myself.
[00:53:03] Dr. Jill Baker: Oh,
[00:53:03] Tonya Mollineau: that's great. I think it's important to have that separation. It's also like what we were speaking about earlier with the, way that we show up to work and our fashion and the way that we're presenting ourselves. But for me, especially pandemic, everybody's been working from home and, so you need that separation.
[00:53:20] Tonya Mollineau: So I don't want to stay in my pajamas. At home. Home and then go to work in my pajamas and feel like it's all the same, melted together. Like I would like the separation. So I love that you're going to the yoga studio to do the
[00:53:34] Dr. Jill Baker: yoga and not, and it's being with other people.
[00:53:36] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes. And it's like you said, it's the then the not having to worry about how I look. Yes. And. Not even have to worry about, am I getting this yoga pose? I'm not good at following directions. I'm just, my children, I'm not, that's not me, but I don't feel bad about it. And then someone will come and help me if I need help.
[00:53:57] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And it's just that's exactly what I need. And I just feel like somebody gave me a big hug in this class and the breathing. Yes.
[00:54:10] Tonya Mollineau: The breathing. Breathing is so important.
[00:54:13] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. Definitely. And if you can't take a vacation. I'm going on a girl's trip in June to Portugal.
[00:54:23] Dr. Jill Baker: So I'm, and it's during kids will still be in school. But and so all women love it. Almost everyone is a mother. So it's just. It's going to be amazing. Yeah, I
[00:54:42] Tonya Mollineau: love that. And listen, shout out to all the women, anyone who is woman identifying, like that's a beautiful thing. I just think there's a different connection when you're dealing with other moms because there's a different level of understanding.
[00:55:00] Tonya Mollineau: When you're responsible for another human being 24 7, and I'm sorry, the dogs and the cats don't count. I love the people with their fur babies, but the way that I win that argument is I always say, for me to go to set for my 14 hour day, if I were to lock my kid in a cage, I would go to jail.
[00:55:25] Tonya Mollineau: You can put Fluffy or Muffy. into their cage and go on about your business and nobody's batting an eyelash. So that's where you lose the battle of, Oh, but I have a fur baby.
[00:55:36] Dr. Jill Baker: And we do have a German shepherd puppy. If needed, she, yes, can be in the crate. You're right. Yeah. X amount of hours, but the kids, you can't do that.
[00:55:49] Dr. Jill Baker: You can't. You can, but You will suffer some consequences, that's right. Like technically you can do whatever the hell it is you want. If you want.
[00:55:57] Tonya Mollineau: But you probably shouldn't. We need to make the disclaimer
[00:55:59] Dr. Jill Baker: there. We're not telling you to do anything. No.
[00:56:07] Dr. Jill Baker: Oh gosh. All right. So before we go for this episode, because this is the first of many, can you share with the listeners some events that are coming up for you and for mom film fest? Specifically, anything you want people to know or to look out for?
[00:56:28] Tonya Mollineau: Yes. So we're actually working on a residency, which will take place in August.
[00:56:38] Tonya Mollineau: We're still working on funding. It's just interesting when we're applying for grants or looking for sponsors and the amount of people who will brush us off and they're like, yeah, we're doing things for women. Yeah. We support this. If you're not doing things for moms. doing things for women.
[00:56:55] Tonya Mollineau: Let me just be clear there. They're not. But the residency will be workshops hands on learning about cameras and framing and lighting. And then there's also going to be self care incorporated into that. Yoga. I don't know. We're going to do yoga, but we're definitely going to do meditation and breathing practices.
[00:57:16] Tonya Mollineau: And then we're also going to do a short film.
[00:57:20] Dr. Jill Baker: and
[00:57:21] Tonya Mollineau: shoot that and bring this team of mothers together and give them some training and skill building, allow them to network and connect and create a fabulous film that we can share and talk about our
[00:57:34] Dr. Jill Baker: experience. Yeah, that's, I'm really excited
[00:57:36] Tonya Mollineau: about that.
[00:57:37] Tonya Mollineau: The film festival will also take place in August and that's usually online. Yes. Last year we did a little bit of a hybrid. With our award ceremony was in person and we'll probably do that again this
[00:57:48] Dr. Jill Baker: year, but all those details
[00:57:51] Tonya Mollineau: are coming up soon. Submissions will open for the film festival next
[00:57:56] Dr. Jill Baker: month.
[00:57:57] Tonya Mollineau: And yeah, we're just excited. So I hope your listeners will follow along. You can find us on social platforms at mom film fest, and I am at Tanya
[00:58:08] Dr. Jill Baker: Molino. Thank you so much for being on today and sharing your experiences and your knowledge and just, and being so open and transparent. Thank you all for tuning in to this week's show.
[00:58:28] Dr. Jill Baker: I'd like to thank my guests again, Ms. Tanya Molyneux once more for joining me today and sharing her experiences and knowledge. about motherhood, being a black mother and being a caretaker for her own mother.
[00:58:48] Dr. Jill Baker: Thank you for listening to this episode of Maternal Health 9 1 1. Please follow the show on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Feel free to DM me with your questions and thoughts or to share your infertility, fertility, and maternal health story. For more information on this podcast and your hosts, Visit www.
[00:59:07] Dr. Jill Baker: drjoebaker. com. Listening to the show on Apple podcast, please rate and review it. It really helps the show and the feedback is welcome.
In this episode, Gavin and Gemma shed light on some common misconceptions about twins that people often have. Here are some key points they discussed:
Twins are not always identical: While identical twins share the same DNA and physical appearance, fraternal twins come from two different eggs and can look very different from each other. It's a common misconception that all twins are identical.
Twins do not have telepathic abilities: Many people believe that twins have some sort of telepathic connection and can communicate with each other without speaking. However, there is no scientific evidence to support this claim.
Twins can have different personalities: Another misconception is that twins have the same personality. While twins may share some traits and interests, they are still individuals with their own unique personalities.
Twins do not always have a special bond: While some twins may have a close relationship, others may not get along or have any special connection. It's important not to make assumptions about the relationship between twins based on their status as twins.
Overall, it's important to remember that twins are individuals and should be treated as such. Just because they share a birthday and may look alike, it doesn't mean they are the same in every way.
As a Black mother, there are unique challenges that come with motherhood. In addition to navigating career and motherhood, balancing family and work, there are also issues related to discrimination and racism that can make motherhood even harder. Some of the challenges faced by Black mothers include:
Fear for their children's safety due to systemic racism and police brutality
Lack of representation in media and society, which can lead to feelings of isolation
Lack of support from healthcare providers, who may not understand the unique health needs of Black mothers and infants
Limited access to affordable childcare and resources to support a successful career while raising a family
Worrying about their children's education and future opportunities, given the racial disparities that still exist in many areas of life
Overall, maternal vaccines have the potential to improve outcomes for pregnant women and reduce the risks associated with childbirth. By addressing disparities in access to vaccines and promoting vaccination among pregnant women, we can take important steps towards improving maternal health in the United States.
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