Ep.4/ Advocating For Yourself With Tineisha Slater
Advocating For Yourself and Dr. Jill and Her BFF, Tineisha Slater’s Story
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Note: This transcription has been created with a help of an AI thus errors and mistranscriptions may be present.
[00:00:00] Dr. Jill Baker: Hello, maternal Health 9 1 1. What's your emergency?[00:00:08] Dr. Jill Baker: 1, 2, 3, 4.
[00:00:14] Dr. Jill Baker: Hi, I'm Dr. Jill Baker. I'm a wife, a mother, a community health scholar and executive director and a fertility coach. More than 12 years ago, I was on my own infertility journey. Since then, I've made it my personal mission to help anyone who is on their own journey. To become apparent as well as shed light on infertility and maternal health experiences of bipo women and couples.
[00:00:42] Dr. Jill Baker: Now let's begin this week's episode of Maternal Health 9 1 1.
[00:00:53] Dr. Jill Baker: Greetings, maternal health 9 1 1. Family. This is Dr. Jill Baker. Before we get into my very special episode today with my best friend, Ms. Tanisha Slater, my best friend since I was five years old, and we have a great conversation to share with you today about. Our experiences with pregnancy and delivery and motherhood.
[00:01:23] Dr. Jill Baker: And so I wanted to share, uh, her background with you all so you have an idea of all of the wonderful and amazing things that she has done in her career. So Tanisha Slater, B s W is currently, she's a social welfare examiner, and she's a dedicated and determined social worker who works to support people in organizations at the micro meso and microsystem levels.
[00:01:51] Dr. Jill Baker: Tanisha's background is centered on providing individuals and families in financial need with assistance towards an improved. Quality of life. Tanisha's strengths and advocacy have helped frame grant policies and procedure. For emergency housing assistant operations, Tanisha's participation in strategic and stakeholders planning committees, have dev developed crisis intervention programs in response to the COVID 19 pandemic, and also bolstered extensive community outreach efforts for marginalized populations.
[00:02:27] Dr. Jill Baker: Tanisha's work as a police social worker. Provide support to community members in crisis and helps promote the development and enhancement of communication and collaboration with community agencies. Tanisha is interested in developing approaches to enhancing the quality of life for all people.
[00:02:46] Dr. Jill Baker: Moreover, Tanisha intends to use her experience to influence positive outcomes for individuals involved in Americas. Human service system. When not working, you can find Tanisha capturing landscapes and interesting images along hiking trails, biking, cooking, dancing, riding, practicing yoga, and hanging with family and friends.
[00:03:08] Dr. Jill Baker: And I'm gonna add and traveling with me, . Without further, do everyone. Ms. Tanisha Slater, uh, for this episode of Maternal Health nine one. Hello, maternal Health 9 1 1. Listeners, here is my best friend, miss Tanisha Slater, everyone. So Tanisha, are you gonna tell everyone about yourself?
[00:03:33] Tineisha Slater: Yes. So, um, yeah, and don't be
[00:03:36] Dr. Jill Baker: shy.
[00:03:37] Dr. Jill Baker: And don't be modest
[00:03:42] Tineisha Slater: Okay? So, um, yes, Jillian, I am so proud of you. We are best friends. I have, she's calling me
[00:03:49] Dr. Jill Baker: Jillian.
[00:03:52] Tineisha Slater: Dr. Baker.
[00:03:53] Dr. Jill Baker: Oh, don't do that. Don't do that. .
[00:03:59] Tineisha Slater: Yeah. So, um, yeah, we've known each other forever. Uh, we went to the same elementary school. I was a private elementary school in Bronx. Shout
[00:04:07] Dr. Jill Baker: out to Region School.
[00:04:09] Tineisha Slater: That's right. a What's up? And, um, so we, we. Had a very similar, uh, elementary school experience. And then, um, my grandma lived right around the corner from hers, and our backyards were pretty much adjacent to each other. So, you know, whenever we needed to come and, uh, hang out, sometimes we just, I jumped the fence.
[00:04:38] Tineisha Slater: literally
[00:04:39] Dr. Jill Baker: jumped the fence.
[00:04:40] Tineisha Slater: It was that easy. So we, we basically, uh, it's just an amazing, wonderful experience. Having a friend that is a sister basically is not even friendship at this point. We're just sisters for life, and I could not pass up the opportunity to do this and to introduce your podcast, this.
[00:05:06] Tineisha Slater: This is an amazing long journey, long time coming, and I am so excited.
[00:05:13] Dr. Jill Baker: And Tanisha is very, she's on the Shire side, , so this is out of a little, out of her comfort zone everyone. But I think when she's done, she's gonna love it. I think she's gonna, she's gonna have the podcast.
[00:05:30] Tineisha Slater: I couldn't say no, I . Um, absolutely.
[00:05:35] Tineisha Slater: I love you girl. I had to be here. So I just wanna let you know that, um, I'm here for you and I am going to just let everyone know a little bit of who I am. So we basically went through the whole elementary school process together, and then that was it. We kind of, um, Went separate ways after that and had different educational experiences after that.
[00:05:56] Tineisha Slater: And that includes you leaving to go to college and you left New York. You left us. Oh yeah. .
[00:06:02] Dr. Jill Baker: Just only to Philly only. Only two hours
[00:06:05] Tineisha Slater: away. Yes. Only two hours away. So we did, we had separate paths, but we. We, we never separated from each other. And that was amazing. And you went on to your, your journey of public health.
[00:06:18] Tineisha Slater: And I went on to my journey to social work, both our parents and had very different experiences. Very different, very different
[00:06:28] Dr. Jill Baker: pregnancies. Experiences. Experiences.
[00:06:30] Tineisha Slater: Yes. Yes. So we kind of helped each other with different experiences. I became a mom before. Before you did. Yep. That was, that came in, you know, to be useful for a lot of things.
[00:06:43] Tineisha Slater: But you know, your journey again, our journeys were very different. You know, we just respected our, our individual journeys and, you know, I continue to, to learn from you and you know, you learn from me and we just, we're just here doing it now. . Yep.
[00:06:59] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah, that's true. That's true. And yeah, our lives were, you know, a lot of the time our lives were at different places.
[00:07:07] Dr. Jill Baker: And you, you were a mom wave for me. Yeah. And I'd be coming home from school to come see you, Andon. What's, shout up? Hey.
[00:07:17] Tineisha Slater: Hi. What's up? Yes, that's my son. Grown now. He's 25. So grown. I know. Our children have such a gap in age.
[00:07:30] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes. Yeah. Oh yeah. So tell everyone how old your, your kids are.
[00:07:33] Tineisha Slater: Yeah. Yeah. So, um, I became a, a mom really young.
[00:07:38] Tineisha Slater: My son was born when I was 20 and, and then my daughter was born when I was 24. So my parenting journey started very early in life. Um, I had a very, I would say a blessed. You know, pregnancy and normal births with both my, you very lucky, my and my son . Yes.
[00:08:01] Dr. Jill Baker: No. Tell everybody what happened with Jovan esp, especially your delivery and, and house.
[00:08:07] Dr. Jill Baker: Oh my goodness.
[00:08:08] Tineisha Slater: And everything. It so no one knows what it feels like. Your first time, you know, they can kind of help explain it to you, but you don't know. I woke up one morning. I think that's
[00:08:19] how
[00:08:19] Dr. Jill Baker: we get fooled, because you really don't know Yeah, exactly. Until you experience it. Exactly. Exactly. , somehow we managed to forget and do it again.
[00:08:29] Dr. Jill Baker: I I,
[00:08:31] Tineisha Slater: how do we do that? Isn't that the truth? That is the absolute truth. To go back in there again, way I got
[00:08:41] Dr. Jill Baker: again,
[00:08:45] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes. We laugh at each other's jokes. We think we're funny. Well, everyone else may not think we are funny. We don't think we crack
[00:08:53] Tineisha Slater: each other up. We don't think
[00:08:55] Dr. Jill Baker: we are . Exactly. We are. That's a,
[00:09:00] Tineisha Slater: I don't, I woke up in the morning and. Something , I felt like, hmm, something doesn't feel right. I just, you know, it was early morning, it was probably around like six something in the morning.
[00:09:11] Tineisha Slater: It was very early. I went to the restroom and then I came back and then within like a few minutes I said, ah, something doesn't feel right. . Like, there's this, I just felt pressure and just this, you know, this urgency, uh, to that. It wasn't familiar , I told my husband then, um, I, I think, I think I'm having a baby
[00:09:37] Tineisha Slater: It wasn't like, you know, no water broke, nothing like that. Oh, right. At all. So, right. You know, there was no other indication other than just this pressure and this sense of urgency to. Of an unfamiliar feeling. So the crazy, the funny story is that we, we were babysitting because my aunt, she had a baby, uh, me and her were actually having, we were pregnant at the same time.
[00:10:06] Tineisha Slater: And it was a very interesting experience to be pregnant at the same time as your That's right. And, uh, our children were born three days. So, but that wasn't the plan. My , oh, you know what? What's the plan? I'm talking about the other pregnancy. Talking Jasmine or,
[00:10:28] Dr. Jill Baker: ok. Confused . That's alright. That's what,
[00:10:33] Tineisha Slater: hold on, let's start over.
[00:10:35] Dr. Jill Baker: So with Yvon.
[00:10:38] Tineisha Slater: With Yvonne, I woke. and the same feeling. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. Went to the bathroom, and it just, I still felt like something wasn't right. A sense of urgency, uh, this feeling that something was happening, an unfamiliar feeling. And at the time I was actually at my aunt's house.
[00:10:59] Tineisha Slater: And that's right, right? That's right. I was with my Auntie Barbara. That's so funny. I was with Auntie Barbara and I said to her, I said, I, I feels like something is going on. I don't know. And she asked me to describe what I was feeling, and I told her, and she said, I think you're in labor. I says, oh, okay. So then she goes, all right, so, um, I'm gonna call, I'm gonna call Ruben.
[00:11:24] Tineisha Slater: You know, , let him know that you're, you're having, uh, labor and labor. I says, okay. So I went and took a shower and ,
[00:11:34] Dr. Jill Baker: you had time to do that. You thought about that? I
[00:11:39] Tineisha Slater: might take a shower. That's funny.
[00:11:45] Tineisha Slater: Clean. Clean
[00:11:49] Tineisha Slater: That's
[00:11:50] Dr. Jill Baker: real funny that you took a
[00:11:51] Tineisha Slater: shower. But yeah, you know, I took a shower and then, um, the next thing you know, before I was even finished getting dressed, uh, Ruben was outside. You know, he. Telling me he was ready. You know, we were ready to go. We got in the car and we would go into the hospital and it was one of the most scariest rides I've ever had in my entire life.
[00:12:13] Tineisha Slater: I said, can we please make sure that we all get there alive? ,
[00:12:18] Dr. Jill Baker: you were thinking about that too. Hmm.
[00:12:21] Tineisha Slater: He was definitely trying to get there. You weren't,
[00:12:24] Dr. Jill Baker: wait a minute, you were not in pain on the way there. Weren't
[00:12:28] Tineisha Slater: in pain mean I felt, I felt like I said, like I, I, you know, I felt this urgency and I was feeling like really, um, strong kind of period, like okay, cramps.
[00:12:41] Dr. Jill Baker: So, but
[00:12:42] Tineisha Slater: you weren't in pain? Not at that point. Agonizing. There wasn't, you weren't not. Okay. You weren't in pain. Nope. And my water did not break. My water did not break. Nothing. I. I just knew that instinctively that something was different and my aunt helped me understand that, Hey, you're in labor. So , I'm in the car.
[00:13:01] Tineisha Slater: We're getting there. I'm just like, Ooh, can we please get there safely? And by the time I got to the hospital, then the cramp, the pain, the labor pains became more intense. I was lucky because I ended up going to Jacobi Hospital where my Auntie Cheryl is, was a nurse at the time. So, uh, she got out
[00:13:22] to
[00:13:23] Dr. Jill Baker: Auntie Cheryl.
[00:13:24] Dr. Jill Baker: Hi
[00:13:24] Tineisha Slater: Auntie Cheryl. We love you, . I remember my mom was there. My mom was there very quickly. She got there. She was, she met us there at the hospital and I remember walking across the lobby. And then kind of like, like slowing and like kind of doubling over a little bit and then just like, oh my goodness. Yeah.
[00:13:46] Tineisha Slater: Cause now the pain was really coming in. Right. Which is funny because the ride from my aunt's house to the hospital was only maybe what, like eight minutes. It didn't even take that long. Oh, it doesn't, it doesn't. Less than that. Right. And then I remember going, um, into the elevator with my mom, and then another labor pain came, and then I started going down towards the ground.
[00:14:10] Tineisha Slater: And my mom says, you get up from that ground. . Don't give that baby any germs up careful with the baby. She was already becoming grandma, grandma bear. Oh my gosh.
[00:14:28] Dr. Jill Baker: don't give that baby any germ. Don't give that, but your pain, there's nothing you can do at that point.
[00:14:34] Tineisha Slater: But you know what, my mom is a nurse. Yes.
[00:14:37] Tineisha Slater: She's, and she is very much aware of like Yeah. You know, the bacteria, germs. And so she did not want me anywhere on the ground. Right. Risking any infection of any kind, . Right, right. And I said, I'm trying . And then we got in and everything just happened so quickly, like everything happened so quickly. And I'm, I'm pretty sure that had something to do with Auntie Cheryl making a call or something.
[00:15:07] Tineisha Slater: right. I don't even know at that point. But there was just so much going on and you know, a lot of, um, Intricate details of of prep work going on. Right. Right. Stuff I didn't know that they would do to lessen any chances of the releasing other things. Right. While giving birth to the baby. . Right. That and, um, So I was just doing everything I was told just at the Mercy and being probed and checked and just a team of people.
[00:15:47] Tineisha Slater: And the next thing you knew, I was being transported to another room within. Oh my goodness. Yeah,
[00:15:54] Dr. Jill Baker: like so how many hours at this
[00:15:56] Tineisha Slater: point? This point? Oh my goodness. I'm telling you my son. In like two hours. Yeah. It was super fast, right? It was
[00:16:05] Dr. Jill Baker: so quick. That's right.
[00:16:07] Tineisha Slater: Very quick. But I will tell you that it literally felt like a movie playing in my head.
[00:16:19] Dr. Jill Baker: Human birth to a human being. Yes.
[00:16:21] Tineisha Slater: Yes. And the staff, like we've moved into the birthing room. . And I do remember there was some concern about my son because his blood pressure was dropping. Oh, okay. And my, my water still had not, did not break at this point. It didn't break at this point, no. Mm-hmm. And so they were moving me and positioning me to see if his blood pressure would rise.
[00:16:48] Tineisha Slater: And oddly enough, he. My son preferred me in on all fours. The dog style position, .
[00:16:58] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah, I remember you telling me that. I was like,
[00:17:01] Tineisha Slater: what did, that was so odd for me, but that's the position that I was like, was comfortable on the floor. No, no. I was on the bed.
[00:17:12] Dr. Jill Baker: On the bed,
[00:17:12] Tineisha Slater: but I was on all fours. Fours like a dog.
[00:17:16] Tineisha Slater: Pretty much right. Pretty much. I was like, what? Yes, because I, I've
[00:17:21] Dr. Jill Baker: never heard that , I never heard anything like that in my life. He was
[00:17:27] Tineisha Slater: more
[00:17:27] Dr. Jill Baker: comfortable than Is that what they did to you at the hospital? Yes.
[00:17:31] Tineisha Slater: And, and then the pain was so intense that I remember putting my face in the pillow and just hoping that this witness that I can fall asleep and it'll,
[00:17:44] Dr. Jill Baker: hoping that it'll end.
[00:17:46] Dr. Jill Baker: Then it would just
[00:17:47] Tineisha Slater: be over. Right? And I would wake up and then it would be done
[00:17:54] Dr. Jill Baker: I mean, we all get to that at some point. It was just like, you can't take it anymore. Right.
[00:18:00] Tineisha Slater: I just put my face down. It was like, it would be so good if I could just like pass out and wake up to my baby . Right.
[00:18:10] Dr. Jill Baker: Wouldn't that be nice?
[00:18:12] Tineisha Slater: That's not what happened though. Right . Within a few moments, I started to feel like I had to push.
[00:18:20] Tineisha Slater: I, I knew it was time. As I started to push, we started on all fours and then the nursing staff helped move me to my, to the side position to continue the rest of the birthing process. And then it sounds to
[00:18:36] Dr. Jill Baker: me like they were doing a great job. Yeah.
[00:18:40] Tineisha Slater: Again, I'm pretty, yeah, you're very lucky. Well, I, they also knew that I was the niece to, uh, well, that always helped.
[00:18:48] Tineisha Slater: I mean,
[00:18:49] Dr. Jill Baker: come on. Yes. I was personal connection in the hospital. Always.
[00:18:54] Tineisha Slater: Very helpful. Right. Very helpful, very attentive. It was a totally, you know, I, I, it was a very good experience, um, as far as feeling like I was being paid attention to.
[00:19:07] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. What happened after that? So you were in the side position. Okay, sorry,
[00:19:11] Tineisha Slater: sidetracked.
[00:19:11] Tineisha Slater: Like what else happened? What happened after that? Um, and then I, and then my son was born, um, and then I remember being on my back and they were trying to, They were pulling , the after birth . Oh, right. Oh, but, oh wait. No, I'm going too fast. I'm going too fast. I ended up on my back and we were giving birth.
[00:19:40] Tineisha Slater: Uh, well, I was giving birth. When am I saying we? Because you know, no, wait, not we,
[00:19:44] Dr. Jill Baker: us, us. This time.
[00:19:46] Tineisha Slater: It was you Allen's giving birth, and unfortunately I started to rip. Oh,
[00:19:53] Dr. Jill Baker: okay. Yeah, that's right. You read really badly, right?
[00:19:59] Tineisha Slater: Well, it wasn't horrible, but I felt the stinging and the burning. Right. And I knew something wasn't right.
[00:20:06] Tineisha Slater: Right. And then the doctor said, the doctor was so kind and so nice, and he said, oh, we're just gonna have to snip you, like give you a little cut. And I couldn't even process it at that point because it was literally like, You know, it was just, I couldn't even really process it. And then I felt an extra pinch, like a, like a sharp pinch and I was like, ah,
[00:20:31] Tineisha Slater: Oh no, I had to give, you know, the actual like, ah,
[00:20:37] Dr. Jill Baker: that's. That's like the last thing you wanna happen at that point. Yep,
[00:20:41] Tineisha Slater: yep. So my son, when he just started to, I started to tear. So they just did a little snip and next thing you know, the rest of the birthing process was fairly easy. He was born, he healthy, um, they cut the umbilical cord.
[00:20:58] Tineisha Slater: Um, Pulled the after birth. I was just like, what is that? Like what are we doing now? Right? . I have more work to do. . I just burn my human.
[00:21:11] Dr. Jill Baker: Don't tell me I have to do so.
[00:21:15] Tineisha Slater: You have to push again, right? Please don't make me push again. Please. , please. That again, . And, um,
[00:21:26] Dr. Jill Baker: see, I wasn't there, but I like, I was
[00:21:29] Tineisha Slater: there.
[00:21:29] Tineisha Slater: Yeah, of course. You were there in spirit, honey. Of course.
[00:21:32] Dr. Jill Baker: No, but I remember the crazy thing is I remember our conver, I remember this con like this was a long time
[00:21:40] Tineisha Slater: ago, five years ago.
[00:21:42] Dr. Jill Baker: I still remember this conversation and I was like, I. Cannot believe this. cannot.
[00:21:51] Tineisha Slater: Yes. Yeah. And um, and then after, and you say you don't forget these things.
[00:21:55] Tineisha Slater: No. You don't. No. These
[00:21:57] Dr. Jill Baker: birthing experiences, you don't forget them.
[00:22:00] Tineisha Slater: No, not at all. Nope. Nope. . Um, after the other birth, the doctor began to sew me up. The stitching started stitching me backward, you know, where I started, where I ripped. And, um, that was uncomfortable. And then they, they, but he did, um, offer like an anesthetic, like a needle.
[00:22:21] Tineisha Slater: There was like a needle they put there to give me an anesthetic to, to numb me a a little bit. To numb it, yeah, yeah. To help with the pain. So, I mean, at least that was provided, right? Because I felt that. . I felt that entirely. I didn't like that , but, but it's a needle. What are you gonna do? Right? So I felt the shot to numb the pain.
[00:22:38] Tineisha Slater: I felt the stitching. And then I was, he was like, okay, okay, we're almost done. Um, and basically it was just, you know, it was a very.
[00:22:54] Tineisha Slater: I just felt completely dev empty of any energy whatsoever. Yeah. Right, right. And I looked down and recognized a body. I mean, I, I saw a body I didn't recognize because
[00:23:10] Dr. Jill Baker: my, I never met you.
[00:23:13] Tineisha Slater: Baby is God. Like it felt like, like such a, like a hollow cavity. Like what's like? What is happening? Like, well, hello you.
[00:23:25] Tineisha Slater: Who is this person? New Tanisha? That's
[00:23:32] Dr. Jill Baker: when I had a Mario. I was like, okay, maybe I don't, I don't know you. Nice to meet you . I know. Oh, you are the one causing me all that pain. Thank you very much.
[00:23:48] Dr. Jill Baker: It's so far. It feels so like, oh my gosh. It, it's just a weird feeling. It's just weird.
[00:23:55] Tineisha Slater: Yeah, it was, it was totally weird. Just, you know, cuz now like
[00:23:59] you,
[00:24:00] Dr. Jill Baker: it's just so many different feelings and emotions and layers.
[00:24:04] Tineisha Slater: Lawyers. Yeah. Yes. Because, you know, one minute you're, you're, you're home. You're, you're an entire shelter for this most important human in your entire life.
[00:24:16] Tineisha Slater: Right? And you're just used to having that connection. Right? Yep. And now, And now the baby human
[00:24:24] Dr. Jill Baker: is The human is outta you. Is outta you. And you're like, ok, are we still going to right? Have this con right, have this connection that we had when you were inside, right?
[00:24:34] Tineisha Slater: Yeah. You're just like, wow, hello. Like, oh my goodness.
[00:24:39] Tineisha Slater: And trying to have that moment and still be entirely exhausted and right. Your body is like beat up.
[00:24:49] Dr. Jill Baker: Everything is beat up.
[00:24:51] Tineisha Slater: Trying to,
[00:24:54] Dr. Jill Baker: with a baby, trying to nurse this baby. That's a lot for anybody. That's why we're mother, that's why we're
[00:25:05] Tineisha Slater: mothers. Yeah. But it was great though. Like honestly, it is an experience that I'm glad that I, that I had.
[00:25:13] Tineisha Slater: I, I, the entire thing was just really. Special. Oh, wait a minute.
[00:25:19] Dr. Jill Baker: Special. So regarding your fast delivery though, I mean, everybody doesn't know this, but isn't there a history of fast deliveries in your family?
[00:25:31] Tineisha Slater: Um, no, not necessarily. Well, my, well, my mom. Mom, my mother, yes, she did have fast deliveries. She did, she told me that.
[00:25:39] Tineisha Slater: My mom says she has fast deliveries and um, She said that, um, the le my son, my, sorry, not my son. I'm a little bit thrown off for a moment. My mother, she definitely did have fast deliveries and I think that that was something I inherited and I was very thankful for that. Yes, that's supposed to be a real thing.
[00:25:58] Tineisha Slater: Yes. I, I believe in that. But I do know that my youngest brother was a little bit different. For her it was more of a, a longer process. But with me, my sister and my brother, I believe she said that all of her pregnancies were really quick and she has her own stories about Right. My dad driving really quickly to try to get her to the hospital, right?
[00:26:20] Tineisha Slater: Yes. She has her own cowboy. Driving experience, but that was a great experience and even my stay there was really good. My auntie came every morning to see me. She gave me breakfast and she was always checking on her nephew and she was just, yeah, it was really lucky and bad experience. I mean, it was a different experience with my daughter, do different hospital, different experience.
[00:26:42] Tineisha Slater: Right. So I got to see what it was like when you actually had the benefit of that. Uh, how can you say, you know, just a better when you have
[00:26:50] Dr. Jill Baker: support there in the hospital mm-hmm. . And you have family that works at the hospital. Yes. And right? Yes. And those are privileges that help to make a difference.
[00:27:01] Dr. Jill Baker: Mm-hmm. for your
[00:27:02] Tineisha Slater: support. Very attentive and just with everything that was going on with my son and explaining what was happening with him. He had a little jaundice, uh, so they had him in the window, you know, natural sunlight. Right, right. Um, yeah. But just everything that was explained to me and just, you know, having the, the, just that level of, of comfort was so, it was a, it was a really great experience.
[00:27:25] Tineisha Slater: Now with my daughter, her, uh, arrival was a little different. Because I was pregnant with my Auntie Barbara. We were, um, we were pregnant at the same That's right. You, you all were pregnant at the same time. At the same time. And we, it was the funniest thing. So, uh, our children were supposed to be born within like two weeks of each other.
[00:27:46] Tineisha Slater: Mm-hmm. , that didn't happen.
[00:27:52] Tineisha Slater: Well, the plans change. The plans change whatever they do. She gave birth to my cousin Hassan, and I told her that I would bring my cousins Ayana and Asia down to see her because they wanted to meet their new little brother. Right. And so we were staying, um, we decided to stay in a Bronx that night and that morning I woke up in labor.
[00:28:21] Tineisha Slater: Oh no.
[00:28:23] Dr. Jill Baker: Oh goodness. So wait, so this time you felt pain?
[00:28:29] Tineisha Slater: Oh, I recognized that pain. Pain the second time Right away. Yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. The first time I wasn't sure. The second time I recognized that pain. Well, no, it
[00:28:35] Dr. Jill Baker: just seems like the first time you didn't have the pain until you got to the hospital.
[00:28:40] Tineisha Slater: Very much so.
[00:28:41] Tineisha Slater: But I did have the period like type cramp, cramped type. That cramped feel of, yeah. Right. But it wasn't. Labor, labor pains. Right, right. This time I felt it, and it was more so with the labor pain, you know,
[00:28:54] Dr. Jill Baker: like I never had labor pains with Gavin and Gemma because I was on, you know, medicine. The whole, the whole time.
[00:29:03] Dr. Jill Baker: But I had contractions. I just never felt them. But with Amari, I had, you know, you know, I had real contractions and, um, , there's no denying real contractions. There's no
[00:29:18] Tineisha Slater: There is no denying. You're horrible. I know. . Why are we laughing at that? I dunno.
[00:29:26] Dr. Jill Baker: I mean, we can laugh now cause we did it and it's not happening again. Oh yeah. That labor pain, that was, that was
[00:29:36] Tineisha Slater: horrible. Mm-hmm. . Yep. And I told my husband, I said, um, I'm in labor. I'm pretty sure I'm in labor. And uh, he says, okay.
[00:29:47] Tineisha Slater: Because now we had my son Jevon and my cousins Cause with you. With us. Right. And now we had to find someone to watch the three children, because now that's right. I was going into the hospital. That's right.
[00:30:02] Dr. Jill Baker: Cause it's a whole other thing when you have kids. Yes. And then, right. That's like when I had Amari.
[00:30:06] Tineisha Slater: Right. Yeah. So we had to find a sitter and I had to tell my auntie that, I'm sorry, I can't bring in the babies to see their new brother because I'm in labor too. Right. Oh my gosh. Wow. Close family. Close family. Right. So, uh, we got to the hospital and this time it was, um, Albert Einstein Hospital in the Bronx.
[00:30:33] Tineisha Slater: Okay. That's where
[00:30:33] Dr. Jill Baker: Justin was born.
[00:30:35] Tineisha Slater: I was not supposed to have. That's right. You weren't t supposed to go there though, right? No. My doctor, my ob uh, my gynecologist, all of my doctors were in Orange County, cuz I had moved to Orange County at that time. So I was supposed to have my, um, my daughter, I was preparing to have her at Arden Hill, which is a hospital up here in Orange County and.
[00:31:02] Tineisha Slater: It's no longer a hospital . It's no longer there. Oh, wow. Which is funny. Yeah. It's no longer there, but the campus is still there, but it's not a hospital anymore. Oh. So I went into Albert Einstein not knowing who I was gonna see, not knowing anything. Now that's scary and that was very scary. Scary. Yeah, that was very scary because I, I didn't wanna take the chance of trying to drive an hour to the , to the hospital of my choice, because I knew that my son was born within two hours.
[00:31:38] Tineisha Slater: And that part too, I did not wanna risk it. and so I drove to, um, well, I didn't, but ,
[00:31:48] Dr. Jill Baker: I hope you weren't nervous. Ru
[00:31:51] Tineisha Slater: drove to the Albert Einstein and I was a little nervous. I was, I was a little nervous. I had a little anxiety about it, just not having, you know, just not knowing anyone and. I, I remember one thing that really annoyed me is that when I got there mm-hmm.
[00:32:09] Tineisha Slater: I mean, I, I did receive, you know, they, I didn't have to wait. They saw me, they noticed I was in labor. It was not like mm-hmm. , you know, they were attentive Yeah. When I got there. But when they checked my cervix, they said that I was like three centimeters or something like that. Mm-hmm. . Ok. So they felt. , um, I had more time.
[00:32:33] Tineisha Slater: So at that point now, there was more of a relaxed type of feel going on, and I said to the doctor, nurses, I said, and the doctor, I said, please don't, you know, don't be misinformed. Don't let that fool you because. My baby's coming. Like, I know that my baby is coming. I feel it. My son came very quickly. My mom had really, you know, had quick births.
[00:33:00] Tineisha Slater: I said, just, you know, Just please. And I was very uncomfortable. My level of, you know, I was so uncomfortable. I knew I was getting closer cuz I had recognized that as one of the, um, indicators from the first time. Right? From the first time.
[00:33:14] Dr. Jill Baker: The first time, yes. Okay. So let me ask you this. So what made you, I, first of all that was so smart, but what made you, what, what kind of made you certain that you needed to, to explain that too?
[00:33:31] Dr. Jill Baker: The hospital staff,
[00:33:33] Tineisha Slater: because I, I kind of, I mean, I was only 24 at the time and I didn't have a lot of knowledge, you know? Mm-hmm. about what, what to really expect and, you know, um, as far as how can I express this, but what I can say is this. I can say that when I, I recognized. . I didn't feel like I was getting the amount of attention that I received the first time.
[00:34:03] Tineisha Slater: Ah-huh. . I felt a little bit, I felt it was exactly a little dismissive, I can say. Just you felt that they were dismissive? A little bit. Dismissive, but not in a disrespectful way. Just kind of like, You know, , like maybe, oh, this mom's just, she's just going through birth and she's just being right. Or she doesn't know.
[00:34:28] Tineisha Slater: She doesn't know, or she, right. Because once they, once they recognized I was three centimeters at that point, it was the, the urgency and everything was just, and I get it, you know, from a scientific standpoint that would indicate that I had time, but me, right. Knowing my body, knowing my family history, knowing my first birth, understood that there was more of a sense of urgency.
[00:34:58] Tineisha Slater: And that's why I said that. That's why I told them that, um, please don't let that fool you. This baby is coming. So that I wanted to get some kind of painkiller because I was, oh wait, did,
[00:35:15] Dr. Jill Baker: wait. You didn't have that? You did not have an epidural at this time. They didn't.
[00:35:20] Tineisha Slater: I never received any painkillers during any of my
[00:35:24] Dr. Jill Baker: during.
[00:35:24] Dr. Jill Baker: Well, Joon, you didn't have time. I didn't have
[00:35:27] Tineisha Slater: time, exactly. But this
[00:35:29] Dr. Jill Baker: situation,
[00:35:30] Tineisha Slater: this situation,
[00:35:31] Dr. Jill Baker: they could have gave you epidural as soon as you got there.
[00:35:35] Tineisha Slater: This is the thing. So I knew that I had learned from the birth of my son that I wasn't able to get a ping. , you know, something for pain because, um, he, it was too late.
[00:35:50] Tineisha Slater: There was a threshold that had, okay,
[00:35:53] Dr. Jill Baker: so it's interesting because I had a similar situa, kind of a similar situation when, not with Gavin and Gemma, but with Amari. Hmm. But your first pregnancy always gives you. Experience for the next ones and for the next one, yes. After that, if you choose to have more children, um, but you might remember that Gavin and Gemma, what was I, 36 hours into trying to them trying to induce me.
[00:36:29] Dr. Jill Baker: That was scary with had an epidural Pitocin and I only dilated two centimeter. and then at, and my water didn't break, and then I like 36 hours. I was just like, okay, I had enough and let's just do a c-section at this point. Um, and then I still had to have wait for a C-section because there were other people scheduled before me, so that was Gavin and Gemma.
[00:36:54] Dr. Jill Baker: So then with Amari, I had the, you know, C-section that was scheduled for his due date, which was October 4th. Which October. Yeah. But in retrospect, my doctor was saying, you know, do it beforehand because I, I, this, he's gonna come before that, shout out to Dr. Barum. I did not listen to her . Oh. And what happened?
[00:37:20] Dr. Jill Baker: Amari came early, like two weeks early. Yeah. And then I go into labor for the first time, then had contractions for hours. I'd go to the hospital maybe a few hours later. Um, I, I didn't dilate at, I probably wasn't dilated at all, maybe zero, probably centimeters, but I, but I was having contractions for like eight hours and then the hospital ended up sending me back home because they were like, well, you're not an active labor.
[00:37:50] Dr. Jill Baker: I was like, trust me, I am not going to dilate. Yeah, because the same thing happened with me with the twins. I said I had 36 hours with medication and only dilated two centimeters, and they still sent me home. They pu just gave me fluids and still sent me home. And when I still lay a bird and my contractions were coming every five minutes for like hours
[00:38:21] Tineisha Slater: at home, you know your body, right?
[00:38:23] Tineisha Slater: You know your body.
[00:38:25] Dr. Jill Baker: and then they called me back maybe eight hours later of me blacking out because I was in so much pain. Cuz those contractions were coming every five minutes on the dot. Yeah. And they were like, oh, Mrs. Baker, are you still having contractions? Yes, I am still having contractions. Okay, well you can come back to the hospital now and I think I only dilated one centimeter or something.
[00:38:48] Dr. Jill Baker: So what was the point? And then they were like, well, yeah, well now you're in Active William. And I was like, I was in active labor when I was here last night. Yeah. And you all still sent me home. Yeah. But it's like, but we know. But the issue is that dismissive, when it comes to us, when it comes to black women and wo women of color, you know, they don't want to listen to what we're saying and we know what we're talking about.
[00:39:15] Dr. Jill Baker: Especially if it's not your first time. . Yeah. We know what we're talking about. Yeah, so, so I think for you it was very important, it was very smart that you knew that you needed to tell them that I know my body, I know I've been down this road before and I know was gonna happen. Yep. Okay. So then what happened at that point with Ja, with before Jasmine was delivered?
[00:39:42] Tineisha Slater: So, um, at that point, you know, I told them and I just remember being very uncomfortable cuz you know, I was in labor. That's just what it is, you know? Right. Um, I remember wanting a lot of cool air and asking for ice chips because I had just been breathing so heavy. I was so dry. Thing that helps. Ugh. Those ice chips are like everything.
[00:40:05] Tineisha Slater: Yes. They're,
[00:40:06] Dr. Jill Baker: they're
[00:40:07] Tineisha Slater: everything and I just. And I, and the only, the other thing too though, that I noticed was different was that they didn't, um, they didn't, I didn't go through that prep process that I went through at Jacobi Hospital. Oh. You know when they give you like, how can I say this? Alright. They like an animal.
[00:40:30] Tineisha Slater: You know what I mean? Like, okay.
[00:40:31] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. Okay. So they didn't do
[00:40:33] Tineisha Slater: that. That didn't happen when I went to Albert Einstein Hospital. So I don't know if that's actually like, something that's like. Everyone does required or worse, and everyone's experience or if there's a reason that they decide to do so, I can't really speak on that.
[00:40:49] Tineisha Slater: Right. Um, but I do know that that was one thing that I did notice, that I didn't go through that the second time. Okay. Um, and so I told the nurse and the doc that I said, please, can I get something for the. Because again, like I told you this second time around, like I noticed the labor right away. I was uncomfortable.
[00:41:08] Tineisha Slater: I just felt it increasing. Yeah. And I said, can I get painkillers? And they says, oh, you know, yeah you can. They told me I would get it. And I waited and I waited. And remember it's not that long because Right. , she came, she was about two and a half hours, almost three. Oh. Before she was here, but, um, . So I told them and they says, oh yeah, you know, well you can have it.
[00:41:34] Tineisha Slater: And I told the woman, I remember I said to her, I said, if you don't give it to me now, I'm not going to get it because my baby is gonna be coming . Right.
[00:41:46] Dr. Jill Baker: Exactly.
[00:41:47] Tineisha Slater: And guess what? She came. My baby came, and guess what? No painkillers and what? Let me tell you the same. The same thing happened where I felt the need.
[00:42:01] Tineisha Slater: To have to go on all fours and let me explain something to you. I knew I was in labor and I told them I am in labor and this baby is coming. And they looked at me because the last time they checked me, I was only like three centimeters. Right. Okay. Right. That was within like, uh, what, 30, 40 minutes? You know?
[00:42:21] Tineisha Slater: Right. And then I felt her coming. I said, this baby's coming. This baby is coming right now. And then the next thing you know, they check. And I was ready to deliver that quick. Goodness. It was that quick and I knew it. And then they transported me to, uh, Another room to birth, you know, to give birth. The birth.
[00:42:44] Tineisha Slater: And this time I was by myself. First of all, there was no team. There was no, there was none of that going on. After they moved me over there, I think they were just like stumbling. I don't know what happened because it was so quick, which is what I told them was probably gonna happen, right? But I remember the nurse, it was one nurse that was in there.
[00:43:02] Tineisha Slater: After they recognized that now I had, you know, my cervix, it was ready, I was ready to deliver. I was in the other room and there was one nurse there, and the next thing I knew, And I said to her, I says, I gotta start like this baby's coming. And I, the, my felt the baby coming, like I had, like, I felt her, I felt my daughter.
[00:43:21] Tineisha Slater: Right, right. I'm coming out. Right. So I started pushing. There was nobody there, there was only that one nurse and she wasn't even next to me. And I felt the like, like in That's natural. A natural thing. Like, you know, I, I, there was no waiting. That's insane. There was no waiting. It was right. She was right there.
[00:43:38] Tineisha Slater: And I just, I. Started delivering on my, like on all fours again, again, like the same way? Same thing. The same thing. It was like somehow that position was most comfortable. Right? And then that's when, that's when the, the late, the birthing started on all fours again. And the woman, the nurse was like, no. She was like, oh my God.
[00:44:00] Tineisha Slater: She ran over, she pushed some button on the wall, some button somewhere. Um, I, I couldn't really pay her any mind at this point. I'm giving birth, you know what I mean? Like , right? The next thing I knew within, like, I would say within maybe like 30 seconds or so, people started running into the room. Um, they ran into the room and then they, they were, then I started to give labor.
[00:44:23] Tineisha Slater: I did not tear like before. That didn't happen. Goodness. Um, but she was here. My daughter came. She was healthy. She was fine. But you knew, I told
[00:44:33] Dr. Jill Baker: them. You told them. That's it. That's exact. It's, we know. Yep. We know after we've gone through it the first time, we know what's gonna happen. We have a great idea of what's gonna happen the next time.
[00:44:49] Tineisha Slater: Yep, yep. And I mean, probably like. If they were to ch were to check me, they probably would've said, we can't do the painkiller at this time. I don't know how much time. I never really researched it. Right. Like how much time you would need to have and you know, when the threshold was there. Right. But I do believe that if they just accommodated me when I got there, or at least entertained it, that probably I would've had.
[00:45:15] Tineisha Slater: You would Right. That, you know, have had something to ease the pain, but I just. Gave birth both times. Nothing , no painkiller. And, you know, I survived it. But I'm not saying that that was ideal. I, I wasn't that mom that wanted to do that. I was the mom that wanted to be a little, you know, I wanted to have something to assist me during that process.
[00:45:38] Tineisha Slater: And it just, it wasn't there. But I would say that, um, after that I gave birth and, um, You know, they were very nice. Everything was fine, but it just wasn't the same experience that I had at the first time. My son, it just wasn't, and even in the room, I didn't get checked on as frequently. I just, it there was more quiet.
[00:46:05] Tineisha Slater: You
[00:46:05] Dr. Jill Baker: know, but this was also giving birth in the Bronx as opposed to giving birth in Orange County. Well, I
[00:46:11] Tineisha Slater: gave birth to both of them in a Bronx Jacobi Hospital was, all of That's right. The first time they're supposed to give birth is to my daughter in Orange County, New York. But that didn't happen.
[00:46:21] Dr. Jill Baker: That's still the difference of being at two different places.
[00:46:25] Tineisha Slater: Yeah. It was just she
[00:46:27] Dr. Jill Baker: wasn't, and all your family not working. Yes. At the hospital. Nobody hospital the second
[00:46:32] Tineisha Slater: time. Yep. Nobody, you know, I didn't have a family member working there. Um, it was an unexpected delivery. My doctors weren't there. They didn't know what was going on with, you know, with me.
[00:46:43] Tineisha Slater: For the most part. It was an unexpected delivery. Uh, she came two weeks early and, um, it just, it was what it was. And I, I can't, I, I, the first experience was definitely, uh, preferr. Over the second. Yeah. I would say that a hundred percent. Right. I did not like the fact that I started giving birth and there was one nurse in the room that was, I guess, prepping something.
[00:47:10] Tineisha Slater: I don't know what exactly what she was doing. Hmm. But I didn't like that I didn't have anybody next to me when I started giving birth to my daughter. Right, right. I did not like that, that I remembered and that I, I was not happy about.
[00:47:23] Dr. Jill Baker: Well, no one should be in a room alone when you're there. Was.
[00:47:28] Tineisha Slater: Yeah.
[00:47:29] Tineisha Slater: Well, I mean, there was a nurse that was,
[00:47:31] Dr. Jill Baker: and you told that the baby coming?
[00:47:34] Tineisha Slater: Yes, but I do, I remember nobody was around me around the bed. The nurse was there, but she was like, like on the counter, like doing something by the countertop or some, I don't know what she was doing, but I do remember specifically that when I began to give birth there, The professional, like there wasn't like a person next to me to hold me or to like guide me.
[00:47:57] Tineisha Slater: Right. Like how it was in my first experience. It was just me. Like I was out in Nature . Right, right, right. And then when the nurse saw, when, you know, she recognized that I started pushing. She didn't want me to, but I told her that I. I had to. I had to, right. There
[00:48:14] Dr. Jill Baker: was no
[00:48:14] Tineisha Slater: choice. , no matter, she's coming like, she's coming.
[00:48:18] Tineisha Slater: So then, and then that's when she ran over and pushed the button because at that point she, there was nothing. There was no stopping. There was no right waiting. And that was it. Hmm. Wow. So
[00:48:32] Dr. Jill Baker: that was it. Well, I'm glad that you advocated for yourself because that was important. That was obviously, I. I was like, we always have to advocate
[00:48:42] Dr. Jill Baker: We always have to advocate for ourselves. Yes, yes. Even when we're having children. Yeah. Like, it doesn't, it doesn't end. It doesn't end.
[00:48:54] Tineisha Slater: It just really has, you know, because I was lucky enough to have both experiences of, you know, having that support and having that family member and, and just knowing what it felt like and then.
[00:49:07] Tineisha Slater: The second time, which can happen to anyone. You can be anywhere and give birth right unexpectedly, you know? But you
[00:49:14] Dr. Jill Baker: have to know everyone out there that if you are a woman of color and you are a black or brown woman and you're saying you're in pain, you don't, you more than likely, there's a good chance that they're not going to listen to you.
[00:49:28] Dr. Jill Baker: So you can't ease up on advocating for yourself. And if you have someone with you that can advocate for you too. And that is, is what needs to happen. Um, because when we have pain, it's just people believe that, you know, black women and, and black children, whoever that we are, like, we can deal with pain.
[00:49:53] Dr. Jill Baker: And I think it's really, our pain tolerance is not any different than anyone else's. A hundred
[00:49:58] Tineisha Slater: percent correct. People. Yep. And, and just like really understanding. . You know when a mom, you know, when, when you're on your second delivering your second child and just knowing your body, you know your body, you know, you have a feeling, and especially if you've given birth before and you have a history like in your family line of just, you know, First coming.
[00:50:23] Tineisha Slater: The simple fact that I was two weeks early and it was unexpected in itself would've indicated a sense of urgency. You know, so it's just that in itself. But, you know, they're healthy, they're smart, and you know, I'm happy so that everything worked out in the end. So ,
[00:50:45] Dr. Jill Baker: right? . And You're right. Alive. And they're alive.
[00:50:51] Dr. Jill Baker: And thriving. And thriving. Yes. But good tip and good. You know, takeaways that, you know, health, healthcare providers will listen to, listen to women more, especially if it's a second or third pregnancy. We have some experience at this point. So you say the baby's coming early, the baby is probably gonna come early.
[00:51:15] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes. Twice. Or if we say I don't dilate, I don't dilate. I don't dilate. I, I, yeah. I'm one centimeter. I told you that I
[00:51:25] Tineisha Slater: don't dilate. And if we say our, my water doesn't break. Oh my water. Water doesn't, doesn't break.
[00:51:31] Dr. Jill Baker: Exactly. Thank you. Right.
[00:51:37] Tineisha Slater: And we still
[00:51:38] Dr. Jill Baker: have babies . Right. And we still have babies. And now I have three. Yes. No, but I You went above, you passed. I know. I know. I know. I know, I know. But let's, I'm glad that we talked about this. We weren't supposed to talk, but I'm glad that we talked about this. This is very important. Yeah, this is very important.
[00:52:01] Dr. Jill Baker: This is exactly what the, the show was going to be about. So this is very important. Yeah. And more women need to, need to share their, we need to share our stories and our experiences. Oh, , bringing our children into the world. It's hard.
[00:52:18] Tineisha Slater: Yes. And we've known each other forever. Right. And we've, we've talked about this before, but some of the details, some of the details weren't really spoken about.
[00:52:28] Tineisha Slater: Right. Because Right. You know, and that's, that's that,
[00:52:32] Dr. Jill Baker: that happens too.
[00:52:33] Tineisha Slater: Yeah. But, um, yeah. So you. Gain something out of, you know, more information, ? Absolutely. I do have an Instagram if anybody is interested. Um, my Instagram is my name Tanisha, t i n e i s h a s. Okay. So I'm a social worker. I'm here, I'm a transplant from the Bronx to Orange County.
[00:53:02] Tineisha Slater: And it, you know, I would love to hear from you if you wanna ask any questions about me and Dr. Jill Baker.
[00:53:11] Dr. Jill Baker: Thank you, my sister, for being on the show. This is gonna be amazing and this is not gonna be the last time.
[00:53:22] Tineisha Slater: Oh my goodness. Do you see that? Did y'all see how she got that in there? Yep. Did you, are you guys listening?
[00:53:26] Tineisha Slater: She, she, she got me on this one time and now , we're gonna be back again. Oh my goodness. I love you, girl. This was fun. Yes. And I, this was fun. Love you. Thank you so much for this. I appreciate, uh, being, you know, in your space. It's, you're a great person.
[00:53:45] Dr. Jill Baker: Love you my space. Love you too. Is your space.
[00:53:50] Tineisha Slater: 3, 2,
[00:53:51] Dr. Jill Baker: 1. Thank you for listening to this episode of Maternal Health 9 1 1. Please follow the show on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Feel free to DM me with your questions and thoughts or to share your infertility, fertility, and maternal health story. For more information on this podcast and your host, Visit ww dot dr joe baker.com listening to the show on Apple Podcast.
[00:54:18] Dr. Jill Baker: Please rate and review it. It really helps the show and the feedback is welcome.
[00:54:33] Tineisha Slater: You go.
Grab a cup of your favorite beverage as we sit down and chill with long-time friends Dr. Jill Baker and Tineisha Slater who graciously shared with us their fertility stories and how they overcome the difficulties and challenges along the way and equally celebrated how it looks like coming out the bright side.
Lean In as Tineisha shares both of her delivery stories and how important it is to speak up and advocate for yourself, especially when in labor. You know your body best and your needs must be heard and met.
About Our Guest:
Tineisha Slater, BSW
Social Welfare Examiner
Tineisha Slater, BSW, is a dedicated and determined social worker who works to support people and organizations at the micro, mezzo, and macro system levels. Tineisha’s background is centered on providing individuals and families in financial need with assistance towards an improved quality of life. Tineisha’s strengths in advocacy have helped frame grant policies and procedures for emergency housing assistance operations. Tineisha’s participation in strategic and stakeholders planning committees has helped develop crisis intervention programs in response to the COVID-19 pandemic and bolstered extensive community outreach efforts for marginalized populations. Tineisha’s work as a police social worker provides support to community members in crisis and helps promote the development and enhancement of communication and collaboration with community agencies. Tineisha is interested in developing approaches to enhance the quality of life for all people. Moreover, Tineisha intends to use her experience to influence positive outcomes for individuals involved in America’s human service system. When not working, you can find Tineisha capturing landscapes and interesting images along hiking trails, biking, cooking, dancing, writing, practicing yoga, and hanging with family and friends.
Learn more about Dr. Jill here.
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