Ep.15/ A Discussion on Black Fatherhood and Adoption with Jason Wiley
EP.15/ A Discussion on Black Fatherhood and Adoption with Jason Wiley
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Note: This transcription has been created with a help of an AI thus errors and mistranscriptions may be present.
[00:00:00] Dr. Jill Baker: Hello?
[00:00:01] Jaso Wiley: Maternal Health 911? What's your emergency?
[00:00:14] Dr. Jill Baker: Hi, I'm Dr. Jo Baker. I'm a wife, a mother, a community health scholar, an executive director, and a fertility coach. More than 12 years ago, I was on my own infertility journey. Since then, I've made it my personal mission to help anyone who is on their own journey. to become a parent as well as shed light on infertility and maternal health experiences of BIPOC women and couples.
[00:00:42] Dr. Jill Baker: Now, let's begin this week's episode of Maternal Health 911.
[00:00:53] Dr. Jill Baker: Jason Wiley, everyone, is a marketing executive with extensive experience in brand management, sports, entertainment and tech industries. Initially starting his career in entertainment marketing, Jason has worked on multi million dollar global campaigns and developed strategies to reach millions of consumers.
[00:01:15] Dr. Jill Baker: A Chicago native, Jason pursued his professional career by attending the prestigious Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. And upon his graduation, he secured his dream job and began working for bad boy entertainment. Soon after starting at the company, Jay Jason's hard work and diligence caught the attention of Mr.
[00:01:38] Dr. Jill Baker: Sean Diddy Combs, who decided to fast track Jason's career. And after only one year on the job, Jason was promoted to the director of marketing. And in this prominent position, Jason was responsible. For creative direction, as well as brand development of the artists on the label due to Jason's hard work branding and the increased success at bad boy entertainment, Jason was recruited heavily by jive records.
[00:02:07] Dr. Jill Baker: And in 2007, Jason joined jive as director of marketing and Jason worked on a diverse portfolio of projects, including Miguel, UGK, Charlie Wilson, Usher, Chris Brown, pink. Justin Timberlake and more. Also, while at Jive, Jason's responsibilities increased to include supervising more staff and setting departmental goals for the staff to meet quarterly.
[00:02:33] Dr. Jill Baker: In December of 2010, Jason was asked to return to Bad Boy Entertainment as the vice president of marketing and in his new position. Jason was now responsible for the overall branding and direction of the label and its numerous artists. His duties included overseeing a 10 to 15 million dollar budget, develop brand and corporate relationships, enhance the digital department and oversee the business strategy for the company.
[00:03:03] Dr. Jill Baker: After years of utilizing his skills in the entertainment industry, Jason began to consult and help other companies to build and create successful marketing strategies. Jason helped to build a cutting edge marketing company, Bridge Agency, that focused on creating engaging campaigns through content, experimental marketing, and social media.
[00:03:27] Dr. Jill Baker: Bridge Agency's techniques quickly brought in new clients such as HBO, ESPN, Chef's cut beef jerky, BET, Sony entertainment and others. So without further ado, maternal health 9 1 1 guests, please welcome Jason White, the officially to the show.
[00:03:46] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about, I know what I want us to talk about today and I'm. I was happy that when I said, Oh, let's talk about these two things, you're like, yeah, let's do it. Fatherhood, as being a black father because black fathers are important. And I often feel.
[00:04:09] Dr. Jill Baker: They don't get as much attention as they should be and definitely more so positive attention. So I always try to Any way that I can put black fathers on a very positive platform and just raise them up and Let the world know how great they are. Because there's so much negativity about black fathers, but you touched on your and I think it's important your experiences at Penn and because oftentimes people go to school and they have an idea about what they want to do.
[00:04:46] Dr. Jill Baker: And then sometimes people change what they, want to do. And then, for you, I get yeah. This experience with working with the Spectrum group, I think sparked kind of a fire for you. Yeah, can you talk a little bit about how that influenced what you decided to, go into a career for?
[00:05:07] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, I think I think a part of it is, Understanding school is not just just what goes on in a classroom, right? It's the people you meet, it's the networks that you build, it's the experiences that you have that kind of help build you and really help you decide paths that you want to take and things that you want to explore and and so being a part of Spectrum and meeting people like yourself and others who were already like leading the groups.
[00:05:39] Jaso Wiley: I started to realize that was a space that I wanted to be in like career wise. And I think I'm a marketer. And so my job is to, is really psychological, right? It's all it's about understanding the brand and it's also understanding consumers and how to get those two things to meet at the same time.
[00:06:05] Jaso Wiley: And And so I'm always working with people. And I think spectrum taught me I want to work with people. I want to create experiences for people. I want to have an ever changing kind of experience. I want to be a part of people's release from all the pressures of their lives Yes, because they
[00:06:30] Dr. Jill Baker: definitely were.
[00:06:32] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes, they definitely were. And especially for us with being at Penn. And I would say, there were not a lot of students of color. There were not a lot of black students. I think that's only changed a little bit. And for us, I would say we were a definite community, Penn Spectrum. Yes. We were very all of us were very tight.
[00:06:51] Dr. Jill Baker: I'm still tight. Shout out to Sharice Bullock. She's oh my gosh. She's killing it right now Yes, so and we're all we all still have great relationships. And yeah, we all were took it seriously But we were a community we were there for each other.
[00:07:10] Jaso Wiley: It's funny. Yeah, I think about like spectrum I still talk to the people I'm still really close with all of those people.
[00:07:21] Jaso Wiley: I
[00:07:21] Dr. Jill Baker: saw Todd Johnson his mother passed away. So just shout out to Todd. And I went, with me and I was like, I haven't seen Todd in forever. And I saw him. So Todd Johnson, shout out to Todd and alum class of 99. And. It was like, I had seen him 28, like nothing changed, like the love was still there, you
[00:07:43] Jaso Wiley: know?
[00:07:43] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, that's how you hope it to be. It's not necessarily how it is with everyone, but that's how you hope it to be, is the hope that you build those kind of relationships that last forever. And so that's what it was. And then it just taught me the direction I wanted to go. And I just followed that, that path to, because then I realized I could make money Doing what I was doing for free.
[00:08:06] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah, because we didn't get paid, y'all.
[00:08:10] Jaso Wiley: We didn't get paid, so I was like, Oh, there's a way to make money doing this. This could be fun, so do you
[00:08:15] Dr. Jill Baker: remember us having to get the writers for the artists?
[00:08:22] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, all of that. I remember the union stopping us from going cause we didn't know that there was, that it was union and we had the freedom.
[00:08:33] Jaso Wiley: Yeah. Yeah. The union came in. Yeah. And we were unloading stuff ourselves and they were like, this is a union city. I don't remember doing this. We had to pay them. It was the Wow, I don't remember that was that George Clinton or was that roots or was that it might have been after you left.
[00:08:58] Jaso Wiley: But yeah, I remember all that stuff just stay with me. It's funny as my company. This is dope now we're talking to clients about just understanding decisions they make, even like union costs and what that would mean and like how that plays into decisions you should make around like your kind of events and what you want, if it's a union house rather than not a union house and what that means.
[00:09:23] Jaso Wiley: And that's still. That comes from those experiences there, like that, that started that understanding of how it's a real thing. It's a real cost. And if you don't recognize it, it can really. Mess you up. So up. Yeah.
[00:09:37] Dr. Jill Baker: And that was before there were, everyone was on a phone and Yes, we had just started maybe using email for a few years, but I remember we were still using a fax machine and faxing contracts and waiting for the faxes, , oh my God.
[00:09:53] Dr. Jill Baker: With their requests and all of that stuff.
[00:09:56] Jaso Wiley: Yeah. Motorola, two-way pagers had just came out. Yeah, they were brand new. That wasn't a thing yet, so yeah. It was, yeah, that was real.
[00:10:05] Dr. Jill Baker: And now people who are like, everyone knows, like Wu Tang, Ma Ma Biip, The Roots, Tribe, all these people that now everybody, knows.
[00:10:15] Dr. Jill Baker: Oh gosh, I'm remembering them. You can book talk shorty. Yes. So
[00:10:19] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, all that stuff. And it wasn't, that was unheard of the type of caliber of talent we were bringing. That wasn't like at every campus that wasn't. No, it wasn't. We were bringing DJs in, we were bringing, oh, we had everybody, medians, we had everybody, we had Biz
[00:10:35] Dr. Jill Baker: Markie, we had Kid
[00:10:37] Jaso Wiley: Capri, and that stuff was unheard of.
[00:10:39] Jaso Wiley: Nobody was doing that kind of stuff at their campuses.
[00:10:42] Dr. Jill Baker: That's why everybody was coming to our parties, Drexel Temple, all y'all,
[00:10:48] Jaso Wiley: come on, Nova, Haverford, Swarthmore, all those schools, and we were the ones that people were coming to Ivy.
[00:10:54] Dr. Jill Baker: Because we are the best party, Ivy,
[00:10:57] Jaso Wiley: I say. For sure.
[00:11:00] Jaso Wiley: Definitely. The best business school with the best parties. I don't know if that
[00:11:02] Dr. Jill Baker: reputation
[00:11:03] Jaso Wiley: has changed. Yeah, I know, right?
[00:11:06] Dr. Jill Baker: During our time it was, for
[00:11:08] Jaso Wiley: sure. Yeah, during our time it was. But
[00:11:10] Dr. Jill Baker: I think it's a special thing where you are exposed to something, you enjoy it. Realize you can make money at it. You realize you're really good at it.
[00:11:21] Dr. Jill Baker: And then this is what you do. And then you, and then look at where, look at where you are now. Please tell everyone about your recent, award. I don't know if it's an award or, your, what you recently got, was chosen into and. It
[00:11:36] was
[00:11:36] Jaso Wiley: a big thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, the double xl boy Yeah, so we are thank you.
[00:11:41] Jaso Wiley: My business partner and I both are on the board and we help them like, find The an award artists for the year, you know during their like, programming and who the best Of the different categories are we're part of the voting and that comes from just it's a board of people who have been involved in industry and have had impact and know the culture and understand what's going on and understand music.
[00:12:09] Jaso Wiley: And so it's a, it's quite a few of us who get to vote and be a part of that. And I think it's it's just it's all the time I've spent doing this and being a part of this and the relationships I've built. So it was great to be recognized and appointed to the play. Yeah. So how, so
[00:12:28] Dr. Jill Baker: when you found out, how did you feel one?
[00:12:31] Dr. Jill Baker: How did you feel?
[00:12:34] Jaso Wiley: So good. I think it was a lot of feelings, right? Cause one, I used to be the young kid in the room who had these great ideas. Thinking
[00:12:46] Dr. Jill Baker: about you on the band. Yes.
[00:12:49] Jaso Wiley: Yes. Yes, exactly. Somebody just sent me like a clip too. I was like, yo! And I'm like,
[00:12:54] Dr. Jill Baker: yeah. You have to know as your friend, I, watching you, got a tickle out of that every time.
[00:13:01] Jaso Wiley: Yeah. Yeah. It was and the thing
[00:13:03] Dr. Jill Baker: that people Y'all better not be treating my boy, Jason,
[00:13:05] Jaso Wiley: people don't understand is I was an intern during that period. Like during that filming and working and stuff. I'm an intern. I was literally making 20 a week. That's what I was making. I was making 40 a week. So people like i'm on tv i'm like
[00:13:21] Dr. Jill Baker: There's a good point with that.
[00:13:23] Dr. Jill Baker: There's a good point. We're going so far a track, but I don't care right now You were making 40. You said 40 an hour 40 a week A week, not even an hour. Okay,
[00:13:34] Jaso Wiley: not an hour. 40 a week. So
[00:13:37] Dr. Jill Baker: I'm just thinking about the younger people now, and I won't make any labels about, their, the names, but, younger people, I feel have a lot of entitlement regarding this is what I want to do.
[00:13:51] Dr. Jill Baker: This is where I want to start. I don't really want to work my way up and this is what I want to make but then I and I also don't want to really Do the grind to get to That like where you are now
[00:14:08] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, I mean I just had this conversation with someone who I started at bad boy with who's like he s e vp at bt.
[00:14:17] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, and and we were talking about how Just the concept of working for $40 a week does not like that. That doesn't even exist. Just that concept for someone. And I think the thing that people miss a lot, and I have this conversation with successful people too around like Puff, who I work for, or did he, or whatever name you brother love They're like, Oh,
[00:14:46] Dr. Jill Baker: I'm from New York.
[00:14:46] Dr. Jill Baker: So he is always, sorry, Sean, come,
[00:14:52] Jaso Wiley: whatever you are right now. You're whatever you are, right? People, even successful people will be like, yeah, I'm gonna do these 50 million things. I'm gonna have this going, I want to do this. I want to do this. I want to do this. It's not just limited. To new younger people who are trying to get into whatever field they are.
[00:15:10] Jaso Wiley: They have these visions because they see multi faceted, multi talented, multi hyphenated things, but not recognizing that those multi hyphenated people were experts at something.
[00:15:26] Dr. Jill Baker: For a
[00:15:27] Jaso Wiley: long time. And they built that. And they built that platform. They built that recognition. They built that understanding.
[00:15:34] Jaso Wiley: They built that knowledge base. They built that expertise. Then they became multi hyphenated. And made
[00:15:40] Dr. Jill Baker: those
[00:15:41] Jaso Wiley: relationships. And made those relationships from that. I'm always screaming, be an expert at something first. Tell me what that expertise is. Then you can do 50 million things and ain't nothing wrong with doing 50 million things.
[00:15:55] Jaso Wiley: Your name is not Jill. Your name is Dr. Jill. That is very important to recognize that you're an expert who worked really hard. Who did a lot of research, did a lot of work to get to this point. And so the things that you were doing builds off of that expertise is not, you woke up one day, rolled out of bed and said, man, let me just do these things because, I feel good and think it'd be great to do.
[00:16:25] Jaso Wiley: There was a foundation that was built, right? There was an expertise that was built. There was work that was built. Every people are tuning in today might not see that they just see what it is today and they say, Oh, I'm going to be, I'm going to be like her, but to be like her, you have to do that initial work.
[00:16:46] Jaso Wiley: That no one saw you doing. No one was standing there with you while you were doing it. You weren't shooting with you in the gym with right and that is the important part is that people who are multi hyphenated, whatever, were an expertise at one thing first and that expertise allowed them the ability to be multi hyphenated and so You know, I just more doors to be open.
[00:17:11] Jaso Wiley: Yeah. And for more opportunities, because the way doors open is that people respect you, they know your worth, they value you, they think you can be an enhancement to whatever they got going on. It's a lot of reasons why that happens. But you have to you have to show your worth, your skill, your ability.
[00:17:27] Jaso Wiley: But a lot of people try to skip that part. They're like, no, I just, I'm just going to be great.
[00:17:32] Dr. Jill Baker: And it's not easy.
[00:17:34] Jaso Wiley: No, it's not easy. No, and you gotta, it's not easy. I watch Puff he had to sacrifice a lot of different things. That you might not be willing to start like you have to make that choice and that that Does he have
[00:17:49] Dr. Jill Baker: this crazy work ethic that the public that's what we see is he?
[00:17:55] Dr. Jill Baker: Really like that for in Reality. I used to... And how has that been in terms of being a mentor
[00:18:03] Jaso Wiley: for you? The reason I left and went to Jive was because I got married. Prior to getting married, I was dating and a part of the dating, I used to have 2 a. m. meetings. I used to have 1 a.
[00:18:21] Jaso Wiley: m. meetings. I can remember times where... We will go to dinner. So dinner, we will go to dinner like late, like eight 30. We'll finish around 10 30. And like on the way home, I'll get a call to stop by the studio, stop by the office. And so at 11 o'clock, I'm going back to work and then I would be in there for two, three hours and sometimes she would be.
[00:18:48] Jaso Wiley: Asleep in the car waiting downstairs not have realizing it was two to three hours that I was gone Because he goes all day I mean his mind works in a way that is just like it is just so fascinating to watch because It's intrinsic. It's like he under, he understands the consumer in such a way that is, is so difficult to teach where and this is a part of The when people talk about psychographics, demographics, things, he is very intrinsically gifted at psychographics.
[00:19:28] Jaso Wiley: So he understands people, behavior, concepts in a way. So it's, and it's as simple as. Change the change that font, that, that logo font from blue to green, I want a light green and you're like, like light green, like what, why are we like it's finished and the light green changes the perception of the product immensely.
[00:19:57] Jaso Wiley: And it's just a color change, but it's more than that, because color has meaning to people. It has impact on people. Your mood. Things like that. Your mood. Your whole thing. Everything. But he just is able to recognize that quickly and soundly. In a way that other people aren't and that's what like steve jobs was able to do.
[00:20:18] Jaso Wiley: It's like Marketers are able to do Is understand how you're going to behave better than you are why you're gonna behave in a certain way based off like the Presentation how that presentation needs to be that gets you to consume it. And in any
[00:20:38] Dr. Jill Baker: Profession that you have. We all need mentors and mentorship is key for moving up. And with certain mentors that you have, there are things, maybe things you want to take from them. And then maybe there are things that you're like, nah, that, that quality. I know. No, thank you.
[00:21:01] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, I mean the sacrifice that he had to give the constant work to be where he is I realized that there's just certain levels I will never get to and because I didn't want to I didn't want to lose out on certain things Because I was
[00:21:17] Dr. Jill Baker: partnership your
[00:21:18] Jaso Wiley: marriage your marriage.
[00:21:19] Jaso Wiley: Yeah. Yeah, and so I had and that's why I wound up leaving is because it just was too time consuming. It was a lifestyle. It wasn't a job. Yes. There was no way I would be able to focus on being married. That was what I did. But everybody has their own thing.
[00:21:36] Jaso Wiley: They're different stuff. You just got to know yourself. You got to know who you are and what that is. Family just happens to be like the number one priority for me. It's not for everyone. I think that's important when you ever are dealing with people to understand their priorities and how They utilize those priorities too.
[00:21:55] Jaso Wiley: So even as a supervisor, as a worker, as a co worker, as anything, understanding the people and how they prioritize things is very important. So if your boss FaceTime is really important to them and you're like, Oh, I'll just hide in my office and I'll work. Then you will never get the recognition you're looking for.
[00:22:19] Jaso Wiley: Something that's important for your supervisor you aren't willing to do. So just understanding these things will help you.
[00:22:27] Dr. Jill Baker: And that you can have a conversation with your You know, your boss is your superior, your superiors, your colleagues. Because it also changes, so like when I started with two kids and now having three and that, having to go to the office all the time and my boss, is a medical doctor, he's very busy, but, and I'm like, okay, you can call me whenever you text me, I may not be able to come into the office, but call me, text me, you need me.
[00:22:56] Dr. Jill Baker: I will respond as soon as I can.
[00:22:59] Jaso Wiley: Exactly. And that takes you to like white being a mother, being a father, it is like understanding your children too, and who they are. And they're there, everybody has a personality and understanding that personality and putting things in front of them that best suits that personality, like my daughter.
[00:23:19] Jaso Wiley: When she was four months old, went to the pool, went to the ocean for the first time, and she dumped her head in the water, right? And recognizing that swimming water was very important to her. So I've had her in swim since then, but it was like, just understanding her. She saw the water and she tried to jump in, like there was no fear no, anything. And, but I also, I have a girl and right, there's these misnomers about, she does not want to do gymnastics. That is not like. Her thing. She will never do it. She's not into flipping. So why even sign her up for Oh, I want her to be in gymnastics.
[00:23:59] Jaso Wiley: Like my daughter's I ain't flipping, I, I'm not going on nothing. Hi, I'm not, I'm not doing it. She knows, but as a father, that's my response to, as a mother, that's your responsibility to recognize those things and say, I don't think.
[00:24:19] Jaso Wiley: I think none of, no one is a failure. I think we put ourselves in positions to fail. And so that is where like self understanding is super important, as well as understanding your children is super important. Cause that like you, when you have kids, you start talking about school, you're talking about all these things.
[00:24:42] Jaso Wiley: And every school is not for your child. That's the truth. And you could put your child in one school that they just seem horrible. You're like, my child just is, I don't understand. And then put them in another school and they're just thriving. And it's important to recognize like what elements you need for your child to be.
[00:25:04] Jaso Wiley: In a place of success. And so like we, we looked at Montessori school for the next thing. We're talking about ringing a bell and quiet time and sitting still. And man, that ain't my daughter. She ain't gone. She ain't going to do well there. That ain't going to help. That ain't
[00:25:26] Dr. Jill Baker: going to work. No, that would not work for Mario.
[00:25:29] Dr. Jill Baker: No,
[00:25:30] Jaso Wiley: you don't sit still, right? No. And it works very well for some kids. It does. But my daughter wants to, she wants to engage. She learns by doing, she learns by being active. She learns by engaging and walking around and touching and feeling and doing all these things. And so had to find a school that met.
[00:25:51] Jaso Wiley: Yes, those needs, right? And so so you got to take that time individually and as a parent to recognize that Who your child are who you are to put them in places to succeed and not fail So i'm
[00:26:08] Dr. Jill Baker: glad you Transitioned to us talking about family and life and fatherhood because i'm Wanted us to talk about that.
[00:26:16] Dr. Jill Baker: As part of our time together so knowing You What your journey was like in getting to becoming a father and you and your wife becoming Parents, so for those of you who want to know you can go listen to my old show Job called Tilly. I'm not we're not gonna go through the whole thing But long story short Jason, shared his journey with him and his wife and they, and them not being able to get pregnant biologically and being very courageous in sharing that with the world.
[00:26:56] Dr. Jill Baker: Because it's still a very common experience. And Jason, maybe something you don't know, but I've have started my fertility coaching practice a little bit, but I've had a handful of clients of black couples. Unable to get pregnant and them being at different places of trying to make decisions and.
[00:27:17] Dr. Jill Baker: Stigma and discrimination, are still there and fear of sharing with friends and family and what you know, so those things are still happening. So for people who think, Oh, maybe this is not still an issue. It is still an issue. And you probably have friends who are not talking about their infertility experiences.
[00:27:38] Dr. Jill Baker: But you all being able to have a successful adoption at, as a result and also being open about that. How has this journey been for you of now? Being on the other side as a father for a good amount of years now and how does it feel for you finally being where you want it to be for a long time.
[00:28:08] Jaso Wiley: It's amazing. It's hard being a parent though.
[00:28:10] Dr. Jill Baker: Is it hard being married? Yes. Yes. Is it hard being a parent? Hell yeah. And for those of you who lie and say, please don't do that either. Because
[00:28:20] Jaso Wiley: it's hard. Exactly. It's amazing. It's the
[00:28:23] Dr. Jill Baker: most it's amazing every day.
[00:28:26] Jaso Wiley: Amazing. It's amazing, but it's hard.
[00:28:28] Jaso Wiley: And so I had a friend who I've been friends with since. Fourth grade. And she actually helped us put together the adoption book. And she was like which if you don't know, an adoption book is basically adopting. In the world is you're adopting a young newborn. That's how adoption works Then there is basically like fostering to adopt that is when you're adopting a child who is older who has and because if you're if a person is In the adoption process in their past a newborn they go into the system.
[00:29:09] Jaso Wiley: They become foster children and then you foster to adopt but when you're doing an adoption, it's a newborn, right? And so that's important to distinguish and a part of that the adoption process is You present yourself to be the woman who was putting the child up for adoption and you Try to get them to really choose you I mean to be honest and so she helped put together at the time and it's so funny.
[00:29:41] Jaso Wiley: This is only Six, my daughter will be seven, seven, a book, a physical book, right? Just seven years now, they don't even do what they do all online kind of profiles, websites, physical books anymore. But yeah, so we had a physical book, we put it together. She put the pictures and styled it for us and did all that.
[00:30:03] Jaso Wiley: She's a, she's an amazing designer. But she was like, This is hard. I don't, I just want you to know she's a mother beautiful daughter. And she was like, I, I, nobody's going to tell you this, but this is this shit ain't easy. And I was like, Nia, why would you say something like that?
[00:30:23] Jaso Wiley: I'm trying to do this. She's cause I'm going to tell you the truth. We've been friends too long. I'll tell you the truth. And I remember cursing out my line brother one night going off on him about why he didn't tell me the truth of how high our bitch was while I was making a midnight run to the grocery store to get some formula and some diapers because we didn't realize we had ran low.
[00:30:46] Jaso Wiley: And
[00:30:46] Dr. Jill Baker: That happens to everybody. Every night.
[00:30:48] Jaso Wiley: It happens to everybody.
[00:30:50] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes. Even if you've had multiple that, it happens to all of us. You're like, why didn't I pack enough diapers? We know we need diapers. What is wrong with us? And you just don't.
[00:31:01] Jaso Wiley: You just don't. You just don't. And you're doing
[00:31:04] Dr. Jill Baker: those Target, Walmart runs, random times.
[00:31:04] Dr. Jill Baker: Every single parent has been there. Every single parent, when you're
[00:31:06] Jaso Wiley: doing the same run. Yep, and that
[00:31:13] Jaso Wiley: makes you feel better. You're not by yourself. You're not by yourself. But it's an amazing, rewarding moment too of just my watching her grow and become the young lady, girl, person that she's becoming. And it's just amazing to see. So I'm like, I don't, I only know super involved fathers.
[00:31:38] Jaso Wiley: That's all I know. I don't, my uncles. The men in my family, the men in my life, my friends, my colleagues if you talk to them about their kids, school, work, going on in their life, they know all the answers. They're not like I don't know, I don't deal with that. They're going to school, PTA meetings.
[00:32:00] Jaso Wiley: They're... They're going to school, they're the one signing their kids up for whatever kind of like soccer, my group chats are full of videos, pictures of kids doing, and it's a bunch of black men, a bunch of men, fathers, and that's all I know. So the expectation within my community and my group is like, how don't you know something, right?
[00:32:27] Jaso Wiley: The expectation is. You know what's going on with your kids, that you go to everything for your kids, that you're super involved with them, that they look to you for answers, that you're there physically, mentally, emotionally. And of course, we all fall short in some kind of way. Oh yes we do.
[00:32:44] Jaso Wiley: Nobody's perfect, no one's superhuman, no one's checking every box is excellent. But the thought is you're, the men I know are very much so like at the forefront and center of their kids lives. So that's all I know. That's the world I come from. Yes. Yeah. And it's just interesting just watching it.
[00:33:06] Jaso Wiley: watching it all unfold and seeing how it happens. But but yeah, it's being a father has been great. The adoption process is I will say this. If you're a black Heterosexual, right? Couple there. It is. It is. You can get a baby pretty much within a year. If you're going through the adoption process, because there are a lot of black babies and not a lot of black adopting.
[00:33:39] Dr. Jill Baker: Oh, okay. That's
[00:33:40] Jaso Wiley: important to know. Yeah. And there are barriers for if you're not if you're single. If you're a gay couple, there are still barriers that exist out there. I'm not going to like, try to act like it's Oh, it doesn't matter. But if you're a black heterosexual couple, there are black babies who just don't have adopting parents.
[00:34:03] Jaso Wiley: The woman who we had adopted from, we didn't even meet. Until the day she got willed out. Of the delivery room. She gets willed out of the delivery room. And it's oh, it's nice to finally meet you. Like it was all, quick synopsis of our adoption story. Went to a lawyer did not go through an adoption agency a lawyer can be a little cheaper oh you would think the opposite No, so if you just go through a lawyer there aren't all these fees associated with just a lawyer because they're not an agency operating with all of this overhead and with all of these different They're literally Just a lawyer, right?
[00:34:50] Jaso Wiley: And so it's a, it can be cheaper and and but it also can be longer because they don't have the full network and agency should have, I've heard some horror stories with agencies and things, but with lawyers too, no, no story is perfect, but went to a lawyer from that lawyer got into started looking for opportunities to adopt.
[00:35:15] Jaso Wiley: Actually found one where this woman was in Syracuse. She was on methadone. She was trying to wean herself off being a drug addict. Didn't have any issues with that. Met her for lunch. She walked out of the restaurant and immediately started smoking a cigarette. She was like five months pregnant, four months pregnant at the time.
[00:35:36] Jaso Wiley: And that, that, that was... That, that was hard to see, like I couldn't and you beat yourself up when you have an opportunity to adopt and you're making a choice, no, not to because what if you don't get a chance? What if you don't get the opportunity? Is this the child for you and you're how dare you say no and all these things.
[00:35:58] Jaso Wiley: And so it's a rollercoaster of emotions, but wound up. Getting a call. A woman was a much pregnant doing four weeks. Was interested in us, what we want to be interested in her, got information on her and was like, yes that would be a great within a week she, we she made the decision that yes, she wanted to move forward with us as the adoptive parents in private adoptions.
[00:36:28] Jaso Wiley: The mother makes the decision the birthing parent makes the decision. Okay. Okay in fostering to adopt and once you're an eight you make the decision There is no there's no birth parent around anymore so just different nuances of things to be aware of, went through the fostering process as well prior to getting the lawyer where we went through the whole training process.
[00:36:54] Jaso Wiley: They were ready to open up the house, but we realized that fostering to adopt just wasn't for us for a variety of reasons. But it's it in itself has its goods and bads as well. It's very cheap, like you don't really spend any money to adopt in that process, but there's a lot of limitations on what you can and can't do while you're fostering.
[00:37:17] Jaso Wiley: And also just the thought that we were hoping a parent no longer wanted their child just weighed on us in a way that was difficult. But there are a lot of foster children in the system that need great homes and need adoption So if that is a route for you, I do recommend it. My mother was A foster parent trainer.
[00:37:38] Jaso Wiley: That's what she did for a living and stuff I've had
[00:37:41] Dr. Jill Baker: some friends who've had good foster to adoption experiences, but yeah, that is it's very scary Because
[00:37:48] Jaso Wiley: the child can go back Child can go back and I've had people with a child who went back to the birth parent and I think I
[00:37:55] Dr. Jill Baker: would
[00:37:55] Jaso Wiley: be Devastated she was devastated never did anything again from that point on I would not look to adopt would not look to do Anything she's devastated still it still is a part of her today.
[00:38:07] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, I know a few of those stories, but but so three weeks we connect we matched with a woman and she refused to meet with us because she had aligned with a white couple to adopt. And when they met her, they said she was obese and their child would be obese. And that she, they didn't want to adopt anymore from home.
[00:38:33] Jaso Wiley: And so she, she refused to meet us because she was just nervous. But that was, that would be the same. That would be the same. Treatment. Yeah, she wasn't obese. She was 5'10 She was a big woman. But she wasn't definition obese, I'm obese, but but she was bigger. But there was also like, she eats a lot of fast food on the way to the hospital.
[00:38:59] Jaso Wiley: I know I'm but I'm trying to get on the way to the hospital. We get a call, Oh I'm going into labor. I'm going to this hospital in Newark at the time we lived in Philadelphia. Yeah, I was head of. Of content and graded marketing at the Philadelphia 76ers at the time. Oh, okay. Got it.
[00:39:19] Jaso Wiley: So get a call and she's Oh I'm going into labor in Newark. And driving to Newark from Philly. Oh my God, I can't believe it. We're about to That's still a good distance. Yes, it's a good distance, right? Yeah, for a drive. And so all the conversations, nervousness, 40 minutes into the drive.
[00:39:38] Jaso Wiley: Right now. So she says I'm in labor. I'm going to the hospital. 40 minutes later, get a picture of a baby. Baby is born. Within 40 minutes, she had the baby. That is so fast! So fast. It was her fourth child, and she was 23. And it was her fourth child. And that's why she was giving this child up for adoption.
[00:40:00] Jaso Wiley: But she goes can you bring some Popeye's
[00:40:08] Jaso Wiley: or whatever you want, you can give
[00:40:11] Dr. Jill Baker: me
[00:40:11] Jaso Wiley: my child. Exactly. And and it was nervousness about involvement from the mother. Would they, would she, would the, from the birth mother, would she like Because in adoption also, you can't adopt until a child's born. Every state has different rules.
[00:40:31] Jaso Wiley: New Jersey is 72 hours. So after birth, the birth person can get 72 hours and say, No, I want, I don't want to do this. And you want the baby back and get the baby back. There are some states that are like 15 days, 30 days. After 30 days, a birth person can say, No, I want the baby back. So the baby can be with you for 30 days.
[00:40:56] Jaso Wiley: And then the person can say, Nah, I changed my mind. So it's not a like,
[00:41:01] Jaso Wiley: Just, oh, I want to adopt, I go through,
[00:41:05] Dr. Jill Baker: I gotta get No, you said a rollercoaster, right? Yeah, It's like your heart is on your sleeves the whole
[00:41:09] Jaso Wiley: time. Heart's on your sleeves the whole time, and never have met this woman. So not sure, so finally meet her, and instantly realize. This is best for her, this is best for her family, this is best for us.
[00:41:24] Jaso Wiley: We are all doing something that's going to be amazing for each other. No one is like taking anything from anybody. This is, and it's giving Devin an opportunity that she wouldn't have. It's giving us an opportunity we wouldn't have. It's giving her an opportunity that she wouldn't have if she had a fourth kid and what that would mean for her life and her things.
[00:41:46] Jaso Wiley: Yes. And instantly understood that once we. Once the baby was born and we met her and and it like it just changed perspective and feeling immensely but it was, it those 72 hours were still hard. And
[00:42:02] Dr. Jill Baker: what were you all doing? You had a newborn, so you were busy,
[00:42:06] Jaso Wiley: so so up in 72 hours?
[00:42:08] Jaso Wiley: Yeah. Up to that point. Devin had jaundice and so she was the incubator for a little bit. Yeah. But the birth woman actually got released from the hospital before Devin, but immediately once we arrived, we get the parent bracelets. So if she wanted to see Devin, she had to ask us permission to see him.
[00:42:27] Jaso Wiley: Like no one... We were the parents immediately. That's sad. Okay. Walk into the hospital, they're like, here are your bracelets. Like your daughter is born. And our story is different, but a lot of people did not purchase anything, was so nervous that this would not happen. Didn't want to get all started and then have it taken away from us.
[00:42:54] Jaso Wiley: Just the thought of that would've probably killed. Like it would have ended any kind of hope of having a baby room, having it all together, all that stuff would have been too difficult. So didn't do anything. So now the baby's here. So at the time one of us would stay at the hospital and the other would go shopping and go and get stuff together.
[00:43:17] Jaso Wiley: And at the time we lived in. Philly and we still had our place in New York. So we're in two places And homes that
[00:43:27] Dr. Jill Baker: need baby stuff
[00:43:28] Jaso Wiley: that need baby stuff. And so we're literally like getting car seat Like everything everything was gotten that weekend Devin had jaundice everything is being gotten right and then With adoption you have to be given permission to take the child out of state.
[00:43:49] Jaso Wiley: Okay. It's not instant. Okay. Got it. And because we were out of state residents, we like, if you're in state, no problem. You go home, but we're out of state residents. We're not given permission yet. So we had to stay in a hotel. Now mind you, we have a place in New York, a place in Philly. We're staying at a hotel.
[00:44:08] Jaso Wiley: With a brand new baby, like waiting for permission to leave, to go to one of them, to go to one of them. And and at the time my wife is, every hotel was a, we stayed at four hotels in five days because every hotel had an issue. The air wasn't clean enough for a baby to be the noise was too much for a brand new baby.
[00:44:35] Jaso Wiley: I didn't like the smell in the place for a brand new baby. So I'm like, let's just go home. Can we go home and she's no, because The fear of, no one checks on you, no one is but what if they do what if they do
[00:44:52] Dr. Jill Baker: not wanting to, you've come that far, you don't want to take any chances,
[00:44:56] Jaso Wiley: So one thing in four different hotels, the day Devin is brought back is given permission. She can go home is opening night of the NBA season of my brand new job is my first year first job opening night. So I'm literally at work. I just started the job and when did I start there? May. I just started in May.
[00:45:23] Jaso Wiley: Oh my gosh. It's now October. It's opening night. I am like sitting here. I gotta run to the hotel, get them, bring them to the house, get back for opening nights, all that. That was my life. Life, oh my gosh. Opening night. My daughter was brought home from from the hotel given permission to leave Jersey.
[00:45:46] Jaso Wiley: And brought home, but yeah, I remember the day of the draft as a NBA team. The next day you have a big conference, a big press conference with your new draft players. So it's the next day at the time my wife was, she was working in LA. I'm in Philly. We have a place in New York, just on a, just crazy story.
[00:46:10] Jaso Wiley: And it's Ben Simmons is on the About talking about being drafted as the number one drafted player, and I get a call and a call is from my lawyer's partner she it was two lawyers who worked at the firm who says hey, we have a baby That's ready to be adopted. The birth parent has already walked away from the hospital giving up rights the baby's at the hospital.
[00:46:35] Jaso Wiley: Can you go to the hospital right now and get the baby like, I don't think that we can i'm in philly diane's in la it's not really feasible to get to New York and get a baby right now. Can we have some time? And they're like we'll call the next couple on the list. If you're not, if you can't do it.
[00:46:56] Jaso Wiley: So when I say as a black heterosexual couple, there are black babies without opportunities for black parents to adopt them. It is really a thing. And just culturally, we don't do it right. The woman who was giving up the baby for adoption, she was shunned by her family.
[00:47:15] Jaso Wiley: No one came to the hospital. No one supported her. Because they didn't feel like how dare you give up the baby, even though she was poor. She was in dire straits, didn't have the resources for kids was, even though all that existed, her family was still like, don't give it up for adoption. Right?
[00:47:32] Jaso Wiley: Like it is serious pressure within the black community. We do not give up parents or give up kids for adoption. Also as a family unit, black people usually take in. Kids. Kids, there are so many people who are raising their cousin's kids, their sister's kids, their
[00:47:50] Dr. Jill Baker: grandparents,
[00:47:52] Jaso Wiley: whoever. And that's been happening since forever.
[00:47:53] Jaso Wiley: Forever. It's cultural. It's just cultural. And so those kids don't make it into the adoption process, so they're not adopted, but they are. And then it's expensive. It was a really expensive process. It was not cheap. It was expensive to do. And it, you have to have funding or a loan in order to do it, which is like difficult.
[00:48:16] Jaso Wiley: And then it's just. We don't talk about, we don't have conversations, no one wants to admit that they have reproductive issues, no one wants to talk about having reproductive, no one wants to talk about why their child is not like of blood, but of something else, and they adopted, so there's this just this cultural cloud over us around reproductive like our reproductive rights, our reproductive issues, our reproductive process and adopting.
[00:48:49] Jaso Wiley: And so all those things make you stand out if you are a couple who are saying, I want to adopt a black baby and and that's who we were. So we would get those kinds of calls. We have friends who adopted and went through the process and they have similar experiences We also have friends now.
[00:49:10] Jaso Wiley: I like to show all sides. We also have friends that Adopted and got the baby and the birth parents said, no, I want to keep the baby after they got the baby and devastation and had flew to Texas. One, one friend flew to Vegas, like there. So I have a couple of. Reference points of people who tried to adopt and then she was a single black woman, flew to Vegas, dodged the baby, and then the woman decided to keep it.
[00:49:44] Jaso Wiley: Just completely devastated her, never tried to adopt again. Have another couple that did. They went to Texas, they went to Atlanta, they wound up finally adopting but they had numerous kind of. Situations that happened. And so I don't want the picture to be painted that it's going to be all easy.
[00:50:07] Dr. Jill Baker: Or that it's going to be a smooth ride and there's not going to be any
[00:50:12] Jaso Wiley: issues. It's not going to be any issues or anything, but it is something that is needed for black couples. Yes. Yes. Yes. To adopt kids, for Black people to adopt Black kids just because there are quite a few Black kids without options, and should, we gotta give them options.
[00:50:34] Dr. Jill Baker: This is more of a subject that's also near and dear to my heart because my mother was adopted, but... But so secrecy, right? My mother didn't find out she was adopted until she was 17 years old Wow, and the her adopted mother Passed away from cancer. So my mother grew up in Harlem And her adopted mother passed away from cancer and when her adopted mother died, the whole family told my mother that she was adopted.
[00:51:16] Jaso Wiley: She found out after her adopted mother passed away? Yes. Oh,
[00:51:20] Dr. Jill Baker: wow. And then she was kicked out of her family house. What? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Oh my God. So my mom did find out later we found her biological mother, her name, and that she, was in Har, was in Harlem. And I remember asking my mom, do you wanna meet her now that we, know who she is?
[00:51:49] Dr. Jill Baker: Knows we know her name? And my mother said, no, I don't wanna meet her because, She gave me away and what can she say? She obviously didn't want me or she would have kept me. So my mother never wanted to know, never wanted, didn't want to meet her when we had the information and a name. Wow.
[00:52:15] Jaso Wiley: Wow.
[00:52:16] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. And so it's always been this. So for me, and my brothers, there's part of our kind of history that we don't know. There's part of our medical history we don't know. And it's been this it's been definite for my mom. Part of her identity of her at a very young age, but, and I asked her, I said I said, did you have any feeling or anything when you were a kid, like with your cousins?
[00:52:46] Dr. Jill Baker: And she said to me, my cousins growing up, she said that they were very mean to her and she always felt like an outsider, but she didn't know why. Yeah. Wow.
[00:53:04] Jaso Wiley: I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah. Not yet. Devin has known all her life that she's adopted never have it's it's funny her friends at school Would mean everyone see that one
[00:53:17] Dr. Jill Baker: decision, right? Yeah, one decision
[00:53:22] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, just changes. I will say this. I will say this. I think it's different from in the past Like, now it is all about what the birth person decides.
[00:53:33] Jaso Wiley: Yes, they can decide if they want the child to, if they want to have a relationship and that's a part of the contract when you sign up for it. It's not this closed, secretive thing that it used to be. So it's a much different atmosphere. So I don't want to say it's more it's our decision. It's more like society is different now with how it operates adoptions. Before there used to be closed cases, files sealed, all these things that is not the case anymore. Adoptive children have a lot more rights to So I don't want to I don't want to paint oh we made this it's like how things are now It's much different.
[00:54:16] Jaso Wiley: But but,
[00:54:17] Dr. Jill Baker: but you didn't have to tell let her, you didn't have to decide that
[00:54:22] Jaso Wiley: didn't weren't gonna tell her. We didn't. Yeah, we didn't. And we did. And some it's just interesting. Some people have issues with it, some people don't. And you, like I tell people all the time, everybody's got an opinion.
[00:54:32] Jaso Wiley: I care about none of them.
[00:54:33] Dr. Jill Baker: When it comes to your
[00:54:34] Jaso Wiley: child,
[00:54:38] Jaso Wiley: Yeah. Part two. There's no
[00:54:39] Dr. Jill Baker: negotiating. There's
[00:54:41] Jaso Wiley: no. Okay. Sure. Thanks. I appreciate it. Thank you for the recommendation. Yeah. The unsolicited amount of opinions that come your way when you have to. But
[00:54:51] Dr. Jill Baker: I think about my mom and how her life would have been different if she
[00:54:58] Jaso Wiley: knew. Yeah. Not only that, like the whole, yeah, because the one thing that we recognized once we met the woman was, it wasn't an easy decision.
[00:55:12] Jaso Wiley: She was not just giving Devin away and not caring about her. She was really caring about what happened to the a child that she birthed. Like she was really looking to make sure that she had a better life and a place and a hard decision. It was not easy. She was, it was not like, Oh yeah, I don't care, and this is the other thing that I realized too.
[00:55:40] Jaso Wiley: A person decides to be pregnant for nine months and then make a decision pregnancy is not fun.
[00:55:47] Dr. Jill Baker: No. It is not going to a concert. Being pregnant twice?
[00:55:52] Jaso Wiley: No! It is not a, a beach vacation. So it's not,
[00:55:55] Dr. Jill Baker: yeah, you're right. It's not light, light for someone who's carried a baby for nine months and then decides, it's best for me too.
[00:56:05] Dr. Jill Baker: Best for me to do this. Maybe be adopted,
[00:56:06] Jaso Wiley: right? Yeah, but as a person who don't know who's not aware and not given that information, it's easy to feel that way. And that's what we wanted to teach Devin was like, all people who are involved in this. Love you. You just, you have extra love because she loved you enough to say, I want the best for you.
[00:56:32] Jaso Wiley: We love you so much and are so grateful you became our daughter and all your cousins, friends, family around you, love you and got the opportunity to have you in their life too. And none of that would have happened without this. It's happening. It's just, it's trying to teach her about how life can be different and present different and that's okay.
[00:56:57] Jaso Wiley: And it doesn't mean that you aren't cherished and loved and, people make decisions all the time that might not be like you like them, but it's coming from a place where they're hoping the best for you. And that's all we can try to teach her with it.
[00:57:15] Dr. Jill Baker: Love that you all came up with this, the, this idea that in belief, but truth that it, it is an origin love story.
[00:57:25] Dr. Jill Baker: Yeah. All these people loving on you and what a way for that to be the beginning of your life
[00:57:33] Jaso Wiley: on this. Exactly. Exactly. That's what. That's hopefully that's the lesson, but it's fun. Her friends at school, like they'll come up to us every once. It's true that Devin's adopted. She says she's adopted.
[00:57:46] Jaso Wiley: I don't know about that. And that's true. That was like, I told you it's like this thing with the kids that that it's it's a thing and it opens them up to what adopting means and what it is. What is that? And Devin is she has come at least now, life presents new things and changes.
[00:58:07] Jaso Wiley: She owns and loves that she's adopted and that the story and stuff. And then. When she's a teenager and she tells me you're not my real daddy, I'm gone. I'm gonna be devastated, but I'll get through that You know when that
[00:58:22] Dr. Jill Baker: she might say it and not really
[00:58:24] Jaso Wiley: mean it, you know that teenage angst.
[00:58:27] Jaso Wiley: Yes, right exactly things that it's she owns it. She loves it. She tells her friends. She tells people And we support it. She's As a parent, for me, my job is to help build the best person that little person can become. And then after that, their job is to do that for someone else.
[00:58:53] Dr. Jill Baker: Yes, exactly. Exactly. And then she's going to pass that love on to everyone else in her
[00:59:01] Jaso Wiley: life. Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't owe me anything. She didn't make the choice. I made the choice. This, hold
[00:59:12] Dr. Jill Baker: on. Our dog, hold on a second.
[00:59:17] Dr. Jill Baker: That is our puppy in the background. German Shepherd that we decided
[00:59:24] Jaso Wiley: to get. Oh, nice. Yeah. It won't be happening over here.
[00:59:35] Dr. Jill Baker: Antoinette, take this out. Yeah, don't. Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it. I love this. Okay, so before we go, so any couples that are listening who may be in a similar place and maybe are struggling with infertility and kind of nothing is working and if adoption might be an option for them. What would you tell them like a couple of things or what could you tell them that to give them some hope to give them some hope?
[01:00:10] Jaso Wiley: Yeah, one. What's for you can't be on for you. And so We went through this hard process of being, not being able to conceive and then mourning that position, going through foster parent training, realizing that couldn't do that, saying no to options for adoption and finally adopting and, reason why people don't believe Devin is not, is adopted is because Devin is us.
[01:00:42] Jaso Wiley: Like in every way possible. If you see Devin with me or with her mother, her mannerisms, behaviors are very similar. Her look is very similar. She really looks like you a lot. A lot. A lot. Oh my gosh. I tell people, I got a woman pregnant and told her we gon give her up for adoption to me.
[01:01:07] Jaso Wiley: Joke. It's a joke.
[01:01:10] Dr. Jill Baker: I
[01:01:12] Jaso Wiley: just wanna make sure. But the older She does. So people this was, I'm, I do believe in God. I do go to church. And so it was, and you might not, but it was for me, it was a realization that this was the path I was supposed to be on so that I can get to Devin so that Devin could be my daughter and that she could be raised by us and that she is supposed to be with us.
[01:01:37] Jaso Wiley: I would also say that it is a roller coaster of emotions. It is challenging. You will get through it even if you do decide to move forward adopting, or if you don't decide to move forward adopting, it is possible to get through it and that you will be fine on the other side, even though it does not feel that way while you're going through everything that you're going through.
[01:02:01] Jaso Wiley: Three, I would say that be prepared for. Researching about adoption. I think it's important to get as much information as you can. We talked with and met with numerous agencies, a couple of lawyers, to just make sure we fully understood the process, the cost, the
[01:02:24] Dr. Jill Baker: possibilities. So people shouldn't just go to one, really
[01:02:27] Jaso Wiley: do your research?
[01:02:27] Jaso Wiley: No. Do research because you want to go with, it's best for you. Like we talked about earlier in here, everything's not for everybody, right? And agencies work differently, their pool is different. That, how they attract can, adoption options is different. So you want to understand that you understand like how all the costs that are associated with being with them, you want to understand what the possibilities are, what their success rates are, where they've gotten children placed at and all those things so that you can decide what's best for you and you can find the best option for you to make.
[01:03:06] Jaso Wiley: You able to adopt if that's your choice. And
[01:03:10] Dr. Jill Baker: that's similar to infertility clinic. Don't go to the first one or the one that's closest. Do your research first.
[01:03:21] Jaso Wiley: Do your research lastly support each other. We were there where blame started to creep in. I think everyone who has had infertility issues or adoption issues have been in that space, in that position where they start to blame each other. And it's really because of sadness and being hurt.
[01:03:42] Jaso Wiley: It's not like you really, cause you're doing this with the other person or you might be doing it as a single person, but you're doing this. And so you care about the other person cause you're doing it with them. But there takes it's time and grace and you need to give each other that. And each one of you are going to mourn.
[01:04:06] Jaso Wiley: And process differently, so give the space for that and understanding that even the person who moves on quickest still is mourning and going through a process. And so on both sides there is there, and this happens with every, I've never seen a couple of this not happen with there's someone who moves on quicker, someone who takes longer to move on.
[01:04:31] Jaso Wiley: I'm noticing a couple who moved succinctly in everything, right? No. And both are going through a process. Both are mourning or both are trying to understand, cope and deal with what is happening to what they thought would be their lives. And so it is important for both sides to try to understand the other person's process, give them grace.
[01:04:55] Jaso Wiley: And recognize that by whatever process they're going through, it is not an implication of you. That is really important because we take it as, how can this person move on so quickly that they really love me? How is this person taking so long to move on? What am I doing that's not helping them? And neither one of those should be.
[01:05:18] Jaso Wiley: That is their process, their journey. You're doing it together, but each one will have their own processing. To deal with all of the emotions that are involved in this. So please give each other grace and time and understanding and try to learn from each other as to what you need to help you get through everything that you're going to feel.
[01:05:38] Jaso Wiley: I love that.
[01:05:39] Dr. Jill Baker: I love that. Thank you, Jason, my brother, so much. I hope that, oh god, hold on a second, hold on,
[01:06:09] Dr. Jill Baker: my daughter said, I said, can you get the dog, please?
[01:06:16] Dr. Jill Baker: Why did we add a dog to our crazy life? Anywho, anyway, I'm not gonna talk about that. We'll talk about that another time. Jason, thank you for coming on the new show. I hope We can have multiple conversations and this won't be our only one. I love when we talk.
[01:06:36] Jaso Wiley: Yes. I love it too. I appreciate it. I appreciate it.
[01:06:39] Dr. Jill Baker: I appreciate you. Let our listeners know how they can find you on social media as they're going to want to. Yeah,
[01:06:49] Jaso Wiley: I am. At j wiley five five five j w i l e y five five five and that's across I think everything My all my platforms are the same and you can reach me on there at any time, any point.
[01:07:07] Jaso Wiley: Thank you, brother, so much.
[01:07:14] Dr. Jill Baker: Thank you for listening to this episode of Maternal Health 911. Please follow the show on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Feel free to DM me with your questions and thoughts, or to share your infertility, fertility, and maternal health story. For more information on this podcast and your hosts, Visit www.
[01:07:35] Dr. Jill Baker: drjoebaker. com. Listening to the show on Apple podcast, please rate and review it. It really helps the show and the feedback is welcome.
In this episode, Jason Wiley and our host discussed various topics related to maternal health, adoption, and Black fatherhood, including:
Why maternal health is a crisis in the United States
Common myths about fertility for Black & BIPOC couples
The adoption process, including key aspects and challenges faced by Jason and his daughter
The need for additional resources to support couples who are considering adoption
Advice for listeners who may be in a similar situation
Positive experiences during the adoption process and effective advocacy for BIPOC couples
Discussion on fatherhood:
Highlights and challenges of being a father, particularly for Black fathers
Myths about Black fathers, and how to challenge these misconceptions
Why fathers are often overlooked in parenting discussions
Finally, they also touched on the progress being made in addressing maternal and infertility disparities for Black and BIPOC couples, and what gives Jason hope for the future.
Guest Bio:
Jason Wiley is a marketing executive with over extensive experience in brand management, sports, entertainment, and tech industries. Initially starting his career in entertainment marketing, Jason has worked on multi-million- dollar global campaigns and developed strategies to reach millions of consumers. A Chicago native, Jason pursued his professional career by attending the prestigious Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.
Upon his graduation, he secured his dream job and began working for Bad Boy Entertainment. Soon after starting at the company, Jason’s hard-work and diligence caught the attention of Mr. Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, who decided to fast track Jason’s career. After only a year on the job, Jason was promoted to Director of Marketing. In this prominent position, Jason was responsible for creative direction as well as brand development of the artists on the label.
Due to Jason’s hard work, branding and the increased success at Bad Boy Entertainment, Jason was recruited heavily by Jive Records. In 2007, Jason joined Jive as Director of Marketing. Jason worked on a diverse portfolio of projects including Miguel, UGK, Charlie Wilson, Usher, Chris Brown, Pink, Justin Timberlake and more. Also, while at Jive, Jason’s responsibilities increased to include supervising more staff and setting departmental goals for the staff to meet quarterly.
In December of 2010, Jason was asked to return to Bad Boy Entertainment as the Vice President of Marketing. In his new position, Jason was now responsible for the overall branding and direction of the label and its numerous artists. His duties included overseeing a 10 to15-million-dollar budget, develop brand and corporate relationships, enhance the digital department, and oversee the business strategy for the company.
After years of utilizing his skills in the entertainment industry, Jason began to consult and help other companies to build and create successful marketing strategies. Jason helped to build a cutting-edge marketing company, Bridge Agency that focused on creating engaging campaigns through content, experiential marketing, and social media. Bridge Agency’s techniques quickly brought in new clients such as HBO, ESPN, Chef’s Cut Beef Jerky, BET, Sony Entertainment, and others.
In May of 2016, Jason looked to accomplish another professional goal and began an exclusive two-year consultation in the sports industry. He joined the Philadelphia 76ers as the Vice President of Content and Integrated Marketing, while maintaining his partnership at Bridge Agency. Jason was responsible for overseeing content, social, digital, and in-game entertainment for the team. Having lived in Philadelphia during the Allen Iverson era, it was only right that Jason returned and help the Sixers usher in a new legacy of stars.
Now Partner and Chief Strategist for This Is Dope (T.I.D. Agency), Jason is excited to work with a team that is only concerned with putting the client and customer first. T.I.D. Agency is a Brooklyn based, growing Marketing and Public Relations firm that works throughout the United States. With a diverse portfolio of clients that include, AppleTV+, BET, Global Citizen, MGM, Urban One and more, the business works tirelessly to ensure that a pipeline is created to guide more Women and People of Color into the industry. It is exciting for Jason to be a leader at a growing company that is creating compelling campaigns in a variety of industries.
Learn more about Dr. Jill here.
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